One Mess Of A Day Changed Me Forever
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Politics and Activism

One Mess Of A Day Changed Me Forever

We'll just say, yikes a gal can learn a lot in a year.

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One Mess Of A Day Changed Me Forever
Lindsey Ocock

We all have things that happen to us that truly change us — hopefully for the better. I've been in college for over a year now and I'm moving closer and closer to the two-year mark. Yikes! But, I like the say that being in college has changed me for the better.

Some sh*t has happened — I've made some bad decisions and I've made mistakes. Some mistakes more than once… but, all in all, I really have changed. Obviously, I don’t mean I’ve changed my core values, but I’ve learned great lessons.

Something happened to me about a year ago that changed the way I look at myself. It wasn’t anyone’s fault but my own and it took me a little while to truly accept that.

No, I’m not about to blast my news and give you all the details, but we will just refer to this day as "the incident."

So, when I explain what happened on "the incident" day, people don’t always think it's that big of a deal or they think it’s a huge deal and they just don’t want to hurt my feelings or whatever. It was a big deal and I'm still lowkey embarrassed. I was more scared to tell my parents how much trouble I was in than anything. And, yes, they know.

All the details of this day in February do not really matter, but the way a single day can impact your life is wild.

This was a wake-up call for me — this day made me realize how much I needed to grow up and realize how my actions always affect someone else, whether it’s indirectly or directly. I’m not saying this was the day I made it or anything like that, but I’m thankful for the journey that took place this past year.

Sometimes I joke about this day to my friends, but it's still such a strange and embarrassing time to me.

I went through a rough and weird time adjusting to college freedom before that day and I’m really not sure when it all started, but it was a downward spiral and I’m thankful I got out of that cycle. At that time, I was constantly looking for something or someone to make me happy. Nothing was ever enough. I thought that if I could just do this or that I would be OK.

I thought that other people and things were the only sources of happiness.

But, I know better now. This year, I learned that if you’re not truly happy with yourself deep down nothing else can make you happy.

I wasn’t even unhappy in the way that my friends or even I could notice. I had been living like that for so long that I didn’t even remember ever being happy with just living in the moment.

It all sounds weird, but I didn't realize how unhappy I was with myself until I stopped trying so hard always to be happy.

Like I said before, the events of that day aren’t as important as what I learned in the weeks and months following.

I’m sure you want to know what happened now. OOPS.

What’s important is that I need to take responsibility for my actions and control my own happiness. I can’t put all of my self-worth into people, activities and things — I need to be thankful for what I have without letting it define who I am.

I'll never be content looking for happiness in people or things if I'm not happy with myself.

Thank you, February 11th, 2017, because you taught me to take responsibility for my choices, learn from them and not let the bad days destroy me.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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