A letter to the man who aired his balls out in the sauna:

Hello, sir.

Why?

Let me paint the scene. It’s leg day. A combo of a 5x5 on squat followed by a completely unnecessary 5 set pyramid on deadlift that then led to a ton of accessory work and ultimately causing complete and utter exhaustion. So, we hit the sauna. A sauna is a place of meditation and relaxation; a place where you can let the pain slowly seep from your body and truly relax.

Initially, it is just myself, my lifting partner, an elderly Asian man lying face down and we were unsure if he was still breathing, and a man covered in tattoos angry at the world around him. My friend, Thomas, and I were simply sitting there talking about life, lifting, and random topics as an old man walked into the room.

If you belong to a gym or fitness club, you know this person. It doesn’t matter if you are a male or female, you know. So, he walks in and surveys the room, recognizing the fact that he is, in fact, blocking the only exit to the sauna. He carefully places down his wet bathing suit—eye contact rock solid.

Without blinking the man removes his towel and lets the culmination of 70 plus years on this earth simply flop in the hot air of the sauna. Without breaking eye contact the man does two 360 twirls—commonly referred to as a 720—and shows the entire sauna what he apparently believes he had to offer. While the Asian man was potentially dead, the tattooed man began to air, like the elderly man's genitalia, his grievances.

My friend and I sat stunned in the courting, sweating from both the heat of the room and the heat of this extremely uncomfortable situation. As the tattooed man was screaming at the flasher, the flasher proceeded to run into the crowded locker room, getting man stares in the process (which may have only aided him in his pursuit of his fetish).

Now I get that some people have rougher days than others; maybe work was rough that day, or maybe the wife at home was getting on his nerves a little more than usual. But in no world, is the proper method of venting to trap people in a sauna and force them to stare at your now sweaty junk.