Mental Health has been a taboo topic ever since I could remember. If you don't say anything, then no one will know and then you won't have any problems. As I write this, I am on medications that I have to take every morning to feel sane. As someone with severe clinical depression and minor social anxiety, I've never wanted to talk about my problems. It was always just easier to push them to the back of my mind and focus more on a different task at hand.
It wasn't until earlier this year mental health became a more widely and accepted topic. It wasn't until these topics were more talked about that I realized how big of a hole I've dug myself. During my freshman through junior year of high school, I shut myself off from my family. I rarely came out of my room, I took depression naps that would go on for hours, just because I was never taught how to cope. In school, they tell you how to cope with the stress of school work, but they never tell you how to cope with the chemical imbalance in your brain. In sophomore year health class, the subject was merely skimmed over.
Others could show how they were feeling, but I was always the "okay" girl. I was "okay" at school, sports, mentally, whatever I did I was just "okay". I could've done better, yes, but when you have a voice in the back of your head telling you to not even try anymore, that's tough. From these articles I don't want pity, I want this to be talked about more. Getting conversations started, if I had a conversation in the first place, I wouldn't be to the point that I am today.
Almost everyone in the world has some kind of undiagnosed mental illness. Whether it be depression, anxiety, PTSD, OCD, etc., everyone has something. So why is it so hard for people to talk about? In today's society, depression is a joke, anxiety is a joke, suicide is a joke. I went through a period where I was subtly crying out for help over Twitter. I was retweeting things such as the suicide hotlines, gifting my things away, and other major signs of suicide. But when I talked to my friend about it, he just said, "I thought you were kidding and just being dramatic, we make suicide jokes all the time."
When is something so serious going to stop being a joke? Yes, I do make those kinds of comments also, I am trying to stop, but are they jokes all the time? No. But I have a support system now that I can go to and talk about my feelings with, someone just like me. All we need to do is start a new conversation. I want to be able to help people with my articles, so please help me and don't be afraid or ashamed anymore about who you are. Because you are strong for continuing on.