Leaving People Behind in 2018 Extends to Family Members, Too

Leaving People Behind in 2018 Extends To Family Members, Too

It's hard at first, but overtime, it gets easier.


Families are an important contribution to society - they help grow the population and keep generations going which keeps traditions alive all while making new traditions and memories for the next generation. Some families are super tight-knit and their bond can't be broken while others have cracks, scars, and bruises. No matter what, no single family is perfect and that's a fact.

People going into a new year are often times speaking on leaving friends behind in the past or even their "old selves," but I've found in my 19 years of life, you can leave family members in the past and there is nothing wrong with that. In fact, it may help you more than you know.

Since a family is one of the stronger institutions of society (I learned that in sociology and it finally came in handy) it is seen as one of the strongest institutions around and is held to a higher standard by, well, everyone; but life happens and divorces and separations are real. Those can either break a family apart altogether or just be one of those cracks, scars, or bruises everyone picks up along the way. Regardless, every family has that one toxic person who ruins Christmas dinner or talks around the bonfire during the summer. It's the one person who you hate to hear come along to spring break and vacations because nobody really wants to be that person who tells them, "Hey, nobody likes you. Get lost." (I mean, I don't mind being that person, but I'd be a bit nicer).

What I'm aiming for here is that it is completely okay to leave toxic family members behind and close the door on them from entering your life. I made that decision and I am slowly seeing myself heal as well as other aspects of my life turn around because there's no longer that toxic stain lurking behind me. It's not an easy process, but in the end, it is totally worth it.

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To The Dad Who Didn't Want Me, It's Mutual Now

Thank you for leaving me because I am happy.

Thank you, for leaving me.

Thank you, for leaving me when I was little.

Thank you, for not putting me through the pain of watching you leave.

Thank you, for leaving me with the best mother a daughter could ask for.

I no longer resent you. I no longer feel anger towards you. I wondered for so long who I was. I thought that because I didn't know half of my blood that I was somehow missing something. I thought that who you were defined me. I was wrong. I am my own person. I am strong and capable and you have nothing to do with that. So thank you for leaving me.

In my most vulnerable of times, I struggled with the fact that you didn't want me. You could have watched me grow into the person that I have become, but you didn't. You had a choice to be in my life. I thought that the fact that my own father didn't want me spoke to my own worth. I was wrong. I am so worthy. I am deserving, and you have nothing to do with that. So thank you for leaving me.

You have missed so much. From my first dance to my first day of college, and you'll continue to miss everything. You won't see me graduate, you won't walk me down the aisle, and you won't get to see me follow my dreams. You'll never get that back, but I don't care anymore. What I have been through, and the struggles that I have faced have brought me to where I am today, and I can't complain. I go to a beautiful school, I have the best of friends, I have an amazing family, and that's all I really need.

Whoever you are, I hope you read this. I hope you understand that you have missed out on one of the best opportunities in your life. I could've been your daughter. I could have been your little girl. Now I am neither, nor will I ever be.

So thank you for leaving me because I am happy. I understand my self-worth, and I understand that you don't define me. You have made me stronger. You have helped make me who I am without even knowing it.

So, thank you for leaving me.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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