Dear Papa,

I'll never read this to you out loud, even if I got the chance because I have a feeling this is going to be far too sappy for our relationship, which is filled with lots of jokes and laughter. To read this to you without either of us joking at any point would be difficult, that's just not us and I absolutely love that. However, I have a few things that I need to get off my chest.

You have taught me so much over the years but the absolute best thing you've ever taught me is how to find the good in everything and laugh often. You have a way of turning everything into a joke and even if I don't think it's funny, you still make me laugh at your laughter. I often wondered how you could possibly laugh during the darkest times of ours lives but I think the truth is, your strength has no bounds and your jokes no ends. This past week you fell and broke your hip and when I called you in the ER to see how you were feeling, you started barking after I told you the dogs said to feel better. It did not matter how much pain you were in or how scared we all were, you had a joke to tell!

The care and love you have showed me over the years has been enough for a lifetime. I mean papa, you've spent nearly every weekend with me for almost my whole life and still came to support me at whatever event I had going on during the week. You had eight grandkids and never missed a single event, that is the definition of amazing. I will always cherish early morning fishing trips with you and dad in the summers and hunting with you in the fall. We may have never actually gotten a deer together but we sure did have a lot of laughs in that blind. That may have scared away the deer, but laughing with you was and is always worth it. Never once did I or anyone else in the family ever have to question your love for us. When my health was going crazy, you were always there offering me advice along with new exercises and therapies that your doctor showed you. If I wasn't there to see you that day, you sent the message along through whoever was there. I know I told you thank you but I don't know if you know how much I meant it so from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

Oh deer papa. Shucks you just missed it! I am 100% your granddaughter and I see that in myself more and more everyday. From my humor, to my attitude, and to my freckles, I am just like you. Except, I don't have quite as many freckles as you do but I have 70 years to catch up to you on that one! I also haven't caught as many fish as you have but just come look in my hands, I have one to show you whenever you get a moment! The truth is, I didn't always fall for that one, I just pretended to because seeing you have a good time is the most amazing feeling in the world.

The best gift you have ever given our family and especially me, has been your unconditional love for grandma. You stood by her side through thick and thin and never once gave up on her. Your love for her never wavered and you showed us all that every single day. My favorite memory of you is when you would sing “You Are My Sunshine” to grandma as you held her hand and she looked off into the distance unsure of what was happening around her, just knowing that the hand she was holding was one she could trust. Even now that she has passed away, you still love her unconditionally. Tonight when I came to visit you in the hospital, the first thing you said to me was that you needed help getting out of there because you had to get home to take care of “ma”. I didn’t have the heart to tell you the truth that grandma’s home is in heaven now and I know that if I did you would have asked for my help to get you out of there so you could go take care of her in heaven. I know it pains you every single day living without the love of your life by your side and I cannot even begin to tell you how sorry I am for that. Thank you papa, for doing your absolute best to keep a happy face on for all of us, your grandkids especially, as you have continued your jokes and laughing with us. I am forever grateful for you joking around with me and playing our little game of tag at grandma’s funeral. I know that was the worst week of both of our life’s and I know God blessed me with you to help me get through it.

Papa, I want you to know that even on your darkest days, you are, and always will be, my sunshine. No matter what happens from here, I want you to know that I will be by your side here on Earth and even when God calls you home to heaven, telling you jokes and trying my best to make you laugh. So when you become my angel in heaven, prepare to see me looking up to the sky and making a lot of silly faces, randomly laughing, and saying “Holy Cow!” a lot. I hope I will always make you proud of me and I will share the gift of laughter with everyone I meet as you have your whole life so far, and will continue to do so.

Thank you for being my sunshine papa. I love you now and forever and that will never, ever change.

Love,