A Google search defines a hot mess as “a person or thing that is spectacularly unsuccessful or disordered.” You define it as a constant state of being. Hot mess, though once negative in its connotations, has become a strange compliment for someone who manages to function on a day-to-day basis despite a generally chaotic approach to life.
To the tried-and-true hot mess. You may not remember the last time you washed your comforter or wore clothes that were all truly clean, but your creative flair and perseverance ensures your life is a terrific tornado. You have enough clothes/food/books/etc. in the back seat of your car to live comfortably for a couple of weeks and your imaginative uses of duct tape are an inspiration for hot messes everywhere. You rarely know how you do it, but you have turned “winging it” into a legitimate and reputable state of being. We salute you.
To the endearing hot mess. Congratulations! You have found a way to make chaos charismatic. People pick up the things that drop out of your overstuffed bag and laugh when you tell them you ate cold, leftover Jack in the Box tacos for breakfast as if it were some kind of joke instead of an accurate description of your most important meal of the day. Being late or underdressed becomes a quirky, albeit eye-roll-inducing, character trait for which your friends tease you lovingly. We envy you and your charming chaos, but cannot fault you, because we too have fallen for your sweet sloppiness.
To the secret hot mess. Though you might be wearing socks that match and you’ve mastered the art of hiding coffee stains on your shirt, deep down you are every bit as jumbled as the rest of us. Your copious use of dry shampoo and Febreeze are attributes of your chameleon-like ability to blend into the world of fully functioning adults, yet behind the mask of calm and collected you’re secretly wondering if you left your curling iron for the third time this week. The bond between closeted hot messes and blatant ones is strong; while the external demeanor may vary, the empathy that comes from not having seen your closet floor in weeks is insurmountable.
So here’s to you, hot messes everywhere. Whether you are one, you life with one or you love one, life is never boring with you around.