The first year of college is challenging for everyone in their own way. I didn't except to struggle as much as I have these first six months. But within these trials have come opportunities to learn and grow from them, which in the long run will make you a stronger, better person. Someday, we will all look back on our first year of college and see how the hard times make us who we are. The hard part is getting through those hard times. I'm learning a lot about myself and this is some of what I have learned.

Change is inevitable.

Coming into my Freshman year of college, I knew it would be different and change was going to happen; But I didn't expect how much everything in my life would change. I prayed countless amounts of times that things would go back to how they use to be. I wanted to be with my friends, I wanted to be as busy as I was just weeks before school started, I wanted to be where I was in the summer. But I can't change anything about my circumstance so I am still learning how to appreciate where I am right now. I had a reality check on that today talking with a mentor in my life. Change is bound to happen, it's just how we approach and view our current circumstance that affects how we deal with it.

We can't face trials on our own

This is a hard one I am still trying to overcome. Here is a little fun fact about me; Whenever I go through something, I don't let anyone into how I am feeling. I go to my weekly activities, I put on a smile, when someone asks how I am doing I say, "I'm good" even though I am really wanting to break down crying right then and there, and I try and solve it on my own. I learned that people who truly love you will be there for you in the good and bad times and they won't be burdened by it. I recently let someone in that I trust with everything. I had been struggling with some things since Christmas and I decided it was time to let someone in. As I was driving to meet her, I convinced myself out of talking to her because I didn't want to put my problems on her. Just the thought of talking to someone about it made my want to throw up. But I went into her office, sat down, and said what I was really feeling. Just telling her and letting all of that go was freeing by itself. But her wisdom and constructive honesty made me feel that I can get through this. Talking to her and letting her in showed me how much we need other people to walk with us in all stages of our life. Now talking to people I love and trust about how I am doing doesn't sound as scary to me anymore! Let people in!!! I promise it helps tremendously!

It is okay to not be okay

I've always been a super insecure person in any area of my life; But one of my biggest insecurities is not being okay. I honestly couldn't give you a reason why but I don't want people to see me struggle. But everyone struggles with something. I am not the only person in the world who struggles and neither are you. If we were always happy and not faced with any trial, we wouldn't grow and learn from them. We wouldn't have anything to learn. What good would come from that? I am understanding that in order to be okay, I have to admit that I am not okay.

There are so many things I am learning about myself which will help me better prepare myself for any trial I come in contact with this semester, the semesters to come, and just life in general. I want to be a better version of myself. I want a testimony of victory. I want to be mentally and physically healthy. But that takes time, dedication, work, and other people to get to a better place.