So because apparently the 2016 election hasn’t been a big joke,and Ashton has yet to walk out and tell us we as a nation are on "Punk’d," it’s time to come up with a coping mechanism for our impending doom as a nation. In true millennial fashion I have decided a drinking game is the best way to mourn the death of our nation. The rules are as follows:
To Start:
Pick a political party as your affiliate. This doesn't have to necessarily be who you voted for, or even your political party. I don't even care if you pick your party based on the color. Every time a state is declared to have picked your chosen affiliate you finish your drink.
1) Every time someone mentions Hillary's emails: take a drink (2 if it's someone on TV)
2) Every time someone mentions Donald Trump's "locker room talk": take a drink (2 if it's someone on TV)
3) Every time someone makes a Monica Lewinsky comment: take a drink
4) Every time someone shouts "Wrong": take a drink
5) Every time someone mentions Benghazi: Take a drink (2 if it's someone on TV)
6) Every time someone mentions Donald's wall: Take a drink (2 if it's someone on TV)
7) Guess which victory party they will cut to next, if you guessed right you get to determine how many drinks (between 1&5) those who guessed incorrectly have to take
8) Every time someone complains about having voted for someone else in the primary: take a drink (2 if it's Ted Cruz or Bernie Sanders)
9) If you claim you're going to move to Canada (or another country): take 2 drinks (mostly to shut your trap)
10) If a third party wins a state: everyone has to finish their drink.
11) Every time the camera pans to a candidates significant other: take 3 drinks
12) Every time a sexist comment is made (ex. "a woman shouldn't be in the white house" "A man has to stand to pee, how do you expect him to sit in the oval"): all members of the opposite sex must take a drink
13) If someone cries: take a drink
First person to pass out wins* because they don't have to see the fate of our great nation, and the next day their hangover will hurt worse than the pain of the results of the election.
*Disclaimer: this is clearly a satirical statement, only those of legal drinking age should partake in this game and please drink responsibilly.