There's a saying that has always stood out to me: "Between the ages of 18-25, you meet a lot of temporary people." Nothing could be more accurate. This is likely because this is the time where everyone's trying to figure out who they are and the type of people they want to be. Peer pressure is at an all-time high, and emotions and hormones run rampant. Most people within this age range are either college students or working in a respective trade right out of high school.

In both situations, they meet so many people around the same age. I'm going to be mainly focusing on what this is like for college students as I am one myself. Friendships in college start and ends like day and night. The people you bond with at orientation or during the first month of school, to be honest, rarely continue to stay your friends. This is because everyone is so eager to create bonds and feel secure, that they may not act like their true selves in order to fit in. Once they get comfortable, true colors come out and many find that they just don't click with their fast-friends like they used to. This is all okay. It's part of growing up.

In my case, I was never one to have a set group of friends until I came to college. I was very shy and insecure at 18, though the friendships I have been fortunate to make have all helped me grow and become the person I am today. To the friends who are still in my life I love each and every one of you and am blessed to know you. This is going to get personal and frankly, I don't even care. I need to just let this out in the best way I can, through the written word.

Sometimes you do get lucky and meet someone who seems to be an amazing, supportive group of friends who stick with you all throughout college and even after that. Hold onto them and never take them for granted, because sometimes even they can end up leaving you, too. Like I said, you meet a lot of temporary people at this age.

I truly believed I had finally, finally found my people my freshman year. We always would hang out, eat lunch and dinner together, go on various trips, or just hang out and enjoy each other's company. I felt like a valued and important friend, something I had never felt until then. I always had someone in that group to go to for just about anything, and never had a dull weekend. This friend group I found meant so much to me, more than they probably ever knew.

Fast forward to junior year, we became closer than ever, almost like a family. No longer did I have to do anything by myself. Every time we would get together, whether it be for a house party or something as simple as lunch, I would always be doubled over with laughter and a part of endless chatter, for every moment we spent together was filled with joy and fun. I finally felt like I could be myself. Finally, I thought, here are people who see the real me and love me for who I am. People with the same interests and goals, whom I trusted more than anyone. People who never judged me or left me out. People who always had my back or would pick me up when I fell down.

I knew then, or at least, I thought I knew, that they would be my people forever, my forever friends. I would think about how our friendships would only grow and strengthen throughout the years, all the weddings we would attend for one another, visiting each other's apartments as young college grads, eventually letting our children play together and watch as they become friends themselves, looking back at pictures from our college days and laughing because those memories felt like just yesterday. I had imagined that we would stick by each other's sides for the rest of our lives, and that brought comfort to me whenever I would think about graduation, something so uncertain and looming because at least I knew I'd always have them.

However, some things, even things that seem so sure and true, can change.

Suddenly, I started feeling like they were slowly pushing me away, but at the time I didn't think much of it, I just thought I was overthinking. For instance, at our hangouts, they weren't as talkative to me as much as they used to be or sometimes they would all go hang out somewhere and not invite me. I had just brushed this off assuming that they just thought I was busy. However, even when I still tried to get us together I would get the "I'm busy" excuse, only to find out that they all hung out without me anyways. That hurt. I felt so alone at that point. I started questioning myself as if I had done something to make them start to dislike me. I felt like an outsider again after years of feeling accepted and loved.

This all happened so fast. One week I was their dear friend and the next week they acted like I was a stranger, to the point that they would actually shun me. The night that confirmed all my suspicions was very hard, very surreal, and very odd. Here is a summary of that horrible night:

It was during a typical house party and I was very excited since I had assumed that this meant they still valued me and appreciated me as their friend. However, as soon as I got there, they just all ignored me. I tried to make conversation, make jokes like I used to, but I just felt this disconnect like I was intruding on them. At this point, I was becoming very aggravated. I felt unwanted, unwelcomed. I went into the living room by myself, sat there for pretty much the whole time and even when people moved into the living room no one sat with me. I honestly started tearing up.

I felt like a wallflower, looking on at the people who once showed me so much love and care to have fun without me. Joking about things that I used to joke about, and chatting away like they used to with me, all from across the dim-lit room. I tried and tried to push my way into their conversations, to try to salvage the night, but it was to no avail. Literally, they stood in a circle chatting and left me out, which I now understand was a subliminal way of them literally ousting me from their lives.

I had had enough. I was in tears at this point, a true mess of a girl on a Friday night, and hastily called my friend hoping that he'd still be awake and able to come get me. I just wanted to leave that place. A place that was once so welcoming and inviting, now a place of indifference and hostility. My friend immediately came and got me, I was so upset I literally threw my jacket on and left without even saying bye to anyone. And no one even cared that I left either. The last thing I remember from that night was just sobbing to my friend in the car on the way home, sobbing so much that my shirt became stained with tears.

That night was a nightmare.

So ever since that night, I just let things go. I stopped trying to be their friend, stopped trying to figure out what I did wrong or what was going on. Of course, I am still nice whenever I see them, hoping that this is all just a figment of my imagination and that I'll be getting a text later asking to hang out like old times. However, I have come to terms with it all.

I have accepted that for whatever reason it is, that I am no longer a part of their lives. I understand things will never be like they used to, and that eventually, we will part ways forever.

Even still, I can't help but be grateful for the time I did have as their friend. I will always be grateful for the fun times and crazy nights we had with each other. I saved every photo we ever took, and I still look at them now and again, because no matter what, photos will always stay the same. But honestly, I truly miss them. I miss our lunch hang outs, our sporadic restaurant outings, our parties, or just having conversations about life in general. I miss having a supportive friend group. I miss being able to text one of them to do homework or get coffee.

If any of them happen to read this, this is what I hope they take away, for I don't know if I'll even be able to say this in person:

I miss you all so much.

I'm sorry if I did anything to make you dislike me to the point where you started leaving me out. I wish you could've just come talk to me as soon as things started getting bad, I wouldn't have been offended. I just want to know what's going on. I hope you all realize how sad I've been, how hard it's been without you guys. How hard this semester has been for me. What you gave me was security and a happiness I never thought I'd be fortunate enough to get. Why things suddenly changed I just don't know. But do know that I harbor no resentment or anger, just honest confusion. I am not at peace right now. I hate having these loose ends. I wish this never had to happen and that I was still a part of your lives. I sometimes forget that I'm not your friend anymore and go to text one of you something, or ask to sit with you at lunch if I happen to see you at a table, but then I remember that I'm just not wanted anymore. And that's okay. I have coped.

I have many other amazing people in my life who love me for me and would never treat me like you have. They are a blessing to me and I am so fortunate. Though I don't have that many friends anymore, the ones I do have are worth more than 100 friends. Quality over quantity. However, I'm done trying to you all. I know where I stand. And life goes on.

For attention's sake, I'm ending this article here. I realize it's very long, but it needed to belong in order for me to truly explain this whole mess of a situation. I hope I'm not alone in this. Everything happens for a reason, but sometimes you just can't figure out that reason.

So with that, I wish you all the best in life. You were very good friends to me up until this point during the journey that is college, but I realize that things from this point on will never be the same. I am done blaming myself. I know I have been an amazing friend to you all and just wish you had reciprocated that.

If you want to reach out to me you certainly can, my phone is always on. I just want clarity. I want the past back but that just isn't possible. You can't turn back the clock.

I honestly shouldn't really be so surprised, because as the saying goes:

You meet a lot of temporary people.