The past few months, I have not felt like myself. I have always been fairly confident in my body and my looks, but lately, I find myself frequently judging myself, internally commenting on every single aspect of my appearance. Sometimes, I look in the mirror and I don't feel the love I used to have for myself.
I ran a marathon this past summer, and the training required to complete such a feat is extensive. Over the course of my training, I watched my body transform into, in a sense, a machine. I have always been muscular, but never to this extent. I began seeing myself more as an athlete and less as the pretty, skinny girl I have always known myself to be. Surrounded by the significant impacts of societal and cultural norms, self-love can certainly be a challenge.
I have always been that friend that professes the importance of self-love. Hearing my friends talk badly about themselves always tears me apart. After all, I feel myself bursting with love for them. I see both their internal and external beauty, and I want them to love themselves as much as I love them, for that's what they deserve!
So why don't I feel the same about myself? Think about how you want someone to love you. You probably seek a partner with good intentions, someone who loves you wholeheartedly. You likely want a best friend who recognizes your flaws, but looks past them to look at you as a whole person. Think about how your parents and your grandparents love you, unconditionally. We must become our own biggest fans, and love ourselves like our loved ones love us.
Too often, we spend too much time nitpicking our bodies. We pick out every little flaw we see on ourselves, choosing to focus on those minor things rather than all the things we love about ourselves. Let's face it, nobody's perfect. That boy that randomly ghosted you isn't perfect. That model on your Instagram feed isn't perfect. That girl in your biology class who seems to have it all together, all the time, isn't perfect. So why do we tend to hold ourselves to such a high standard of perfection?
My focus for the next few months, and for the rest of my life, really, is to be kinder to myself. This means speaking nicely to yourself, and being ultimately more forgiving to yourself. This is of course more easily said than done, but it starts with day-by-day things, such as giving yourself positive affirmations. Today, my hair looks awesome. Yesterday, I really liked how I looked in that outfit. Or, today I did a great job of getting all of my assignments done. Yesterday, I am proud of myself for completing that workout, even though I was exhausted from the day.
Try to catch yourself when those negative thoughts creep in. This is a tip I've learned from my therapist. She's constantly reminding me that when I feel an anxious thought creeping in to my mind to "catch" it, and stop it in its tracks. Sometimes saying to yourself, "This is simply my anxiety talking. It is no way true, and I can choose to think about this situation in a different light", is all you need.
That all being said, you can be a gorgeous athlete with all the muscles in the world. You can be a pretty, skinny girl without an ounce of fat on your body. You can be overweight, and still be beautiful. It's all about being comfortable in your own skin. Once you embrace true acceptance for who you are, you'll be so much better off, both mentally and physically. Only then can we become the beautiful people we were put on this earth to be. Before we can love another, we must first love ourselves.