No, It Was NOT Your Typical Spring Break
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Health and Wellness

No, It Was NOT Your Typical Spring Break

SB2018, Was not Beach-y or Sunny

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No, It Was NOT Your Typical Spring Break
Maria Marrugo

I missed this year's St. Patty darty day in Chicago, and to be truthful; I probably would have slept through it anyways. I was tired from the previous weeks final (total of 3 all nighters and naps of 2 hours each day for 5 days), that ruined the health streaked I had going. I was running low on sleep, so even though I slept the entire 6 hour drive to Cincinnati, I was still exhausted. The next week was going to be one heck of a juxtaposition.

Sunday

We had to be up and ready to go around 9:30 a.m., we had a little meet and greet and we headed off to church. On the way there we drove around the gentrified area of Over-The-Rhine, and it was quite disturbing. The division between the poor and the rich were standing side by side.

This was no ordinary mass. As soon as we walked in we were greeted with hugs. I felt so welcomed the entire time, it was insane! Everyone was just so warm and loving, it made me wish the DePaul Parish was this welcoming.

After mass, we were given a tour and walked back home. While we regrouped, we stood outside the church and a woman that Megan (our instructor) knew, came by with desserts, I mean can you believe it? The church knew we were coming and this woman made us desserts, talk about hospitality!

Then we went home and talked about what we experienced. It was nice to be back in an environment that reflected after things occurred. It was like we were processing our thoughts with each other, and it was comforting. Then we made enchiladas for the Respite Care Center, and spent our afternoon with them.

The Respite Care Center is a place that people who have been hospitalized, and are in danger of being homeless can go live. The people staff and patients were welcoming, but there were a couple of patients that clearly have a lot going on. I tried my hardest, but could tell what patients did not want to be bothered. It tore me apart because I wanted to be this ray of sunshine and just talk to them, but I knew better than to do that.

The entire week we tackled different issues: gentrification, homelessness, poverty, racism, and immigration. Each day was different, and even to this day what I learned has been hard to put into words, let alone thoughts.

Throughout The Week

On a separate day, we did a poverty simulation, played with kids in Santa Maria's after school program, helped in an elderly home's garden, volunteered at a food pantry, went into the homes of people the needed our help, toured a jail, learned about the freedom trail slaves from the South crossed to become free, discussed rehabilitation, and heard the stories of illegal immigrants. To say it was overwhelming was an understatement.

What I learned About Myself

Why was I doing this? I could be anywhere in the world for this entire week if I really wanted to, but something in me needed to be here. I am slightly ashamed to admit this, but I was here because of the spiritual peace it brings me.

In my day to day life, I battle my own struggles. Mostly between living lavish and living simply. I have a hard time being ‘humble’. I am a big spender, and I wish that “things” did not consume my life as much as they do. Recently I have also experienced some shitty treatment from two people I considered ‘friends’.

I was also dealing with a foot injury, that made me feel inept and useless. Whenever shit went wrong, I would just put on my headphones and go for an hour jog. Since my injury I haven’t been able to release my stress/anxiety the way I knew how, and I was starting to lose it. I was crying in public, and just all around falling apart.

I always knew I wanted to volunteer, but during service immersion, it is literally and actually like a soul cleansing. Whatever baggage you have lingering over you, disappears. You’re worries no longer seem significant. You deal with people whose problems are 200 times worse than yours. You have no time to feel sorry for your petty self, because are exposed to people that have it worse than you.

You are away from your phone, you have a planned schedule, and people that depend on you, so you are living in the moment. I knew I needed this this immersion to heal. I was hurt, and this time I was surrounded by people that gave a shit ( are passionate). My awkwardness, weirdness, and brokenness was always accepted. I was allowed to say and do all the weird shit I naturally do, and it was okay. No one made me feel uncomfortable and everyone was always supportive. I needed to heal in a supportive environment, and I found it on this trip.

Everyone is equally lost, and we didn't let the societal pressures burden our interactions. We are all going through shit, but while we were there, we didn’t have time to go through shit. We had to be nice to each other to survive through that day, because if we didn’t, we would have lost it.

Poverty Simulation

This was the first night I cried. We were probably on day 2 or 3, and the tears had started. What suppressed memory will come out now? My mother. During the simulation we dealt with government agencies that are supposed to provide assistance to families. In the simulation, I was paired with Maddie and we were given 5 tasks, two children, and no money to start with.

During this time I thought back to the time I was in 4th grade. My mom quit her job as a teacher in a daycare. She told me that she couldn’t deal with kids anymore because they were driving her insane. They were too spoiled and she thought she was going to lose her mind. (She still lost her mind, but I’m not ready to share that yet).

When my mom quit her job, she did not have a backup plan. Simultaneously, she broke up with her boyfriend at the time. So there we were, bills piling up, and no source of income. My breakfast and lunch were given to me for free by the cafeteria low income free-lunch, and if I didn’t like it, I would go hungry. My mom was good at providing dinner, but the amount of food we had became less and less. Then I started seeing her pick up food donations. During this time she didn't know how to drive, so I do not want to imagine how hard it must of been riding the bus around with donations. Specially since Naples's bus system sucks.

At only 9 years old, I saw my mom at her worst. She couldn’t afford to pay the rent, and went to a church to receive help. I guess the church couldn’t help because the waiting process was 3 months. Luckily our guardian angel was watching, because a guy in there overheard my mom saying she couldn't pay the rent, and wrote her a check. When we came home my mom cried that day. Around that time, she had been accepted into housing for section 8. During that time, I knew things were bad, because my mom always seemed sad. Being in Cincinnati, and seeing what I was seeing made me scared that perhaps, had my mom lived in another city, we would not have made it. We probably would still be in poverty, and I know I would not be in school.

I broke down. I had one of those cries in which everything hurts. The tears kept coming, and I realized that I had suppressed a lot from my childhood. I realized for the first time how broken I still am.

The next day I called my mom crying and just thanked her for all that she has done. I can’t imagine how hard it must of been with 2 kids. The rest of the week we met people whose financial situation was beyond our group's realm of struggle. We continued to discuss these issues, and that uncomfortable feeling made me grow so much during that week, than I have in a long time. The only thing I wish we had, was space. It was great having people there, but there were times that I needed my own space. Which is how I needed up picking up smoking again.

Freshmen year in college I became a social smoker. I just smoked because it looked fun and the people I was with did it. But now, I smoke when I am stressed/anxious. During that trip I felt like I was putting all that I learned in little boxes, and storing them in my subconscious.

It was hard to take everything in, and had I acknowledge everything that was happening, I wouldn’t have made it. I know that when I am back in Chicago, I’m going to be riding the el, and I’m going to be staring out the window, and a little tear is going to come out.

Back to Classes

I need some introvert time. I need to recharge. I’ve spent too much time with people, and it’s too draining me. I’m going to buy the Sims 3 and pull out my nerd self from high school.

It is now the third day of class, and I am sleepy. It is my 4th day on my detox, and I feel at peace. All the brokenness and insecurities from last quarter, are no longer there, at least for now. Let’s see what happens when I have to see most people again.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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