I've never been a religious person, but I think I believe in God.

I don't come from a church-every-Sunday type of family, in fact, I go so little that whenever I do go to church, I don't really know what I'm doing. Now if you've never been to Catholic service, you should mentally prepare to do some cardio and bring cushy knee-pads because you'll be getting on your knees a whole lot and if you're thinking of wearing a dress or a skirt - don't - tomorrow, your non-bruised kneecaps will thank you. Take it from me, it's a lot easier if you dress in preparation.

The whole concept of a creator is something I have contemplated over the years. On the one hand, it's a kind of nonsensical belief in an invisible supernatural being that has created the galaxy, planets, earth, oceans, puppies and you, seemingly excessive, almost as if it's trying to cover a lot of ground with not a lot of explanation. The grasp that religion holds over the world has created wars between families, controlled government and killed millions if not billions of people, all in the fight for the one true deity something that needs to be believed in? Sometimes it feels like we believe in this greater being just because we are supposed to and because we are afraid of the thought of not having something bigger than us out there. There is a great uncertainty about the whole thing yet so many people flock to practice in its name.

At my lowest moments, without even realizing it, I always find myself turning to God and praying. I have my doubts like some, even many, 20-something college kids often do. I am not very sure of myself and I am definitely not confident in my future, but I do understand the warm sensation that comes with letting go of your hopes and fears and giving those thoughts away to the hands of God. It has changed my life as it has many others.

Whenever I have gone to church, I usually see people who are so deeply immersed in prayer that they lose themselves in a way that seems so vulnerable which is something I've always been envious of it. I spent too much time people watching and observing other's actions, never really becoming engrossed in the actual service. It's something that I know I need to grow in but it's also something that I want to do.

It's scary talking about your doubts in faith to people. They are always quick to judge and lecture you on why your thoughts and opinions are wrong, and I honestly don't really care what others think but with time I've slowly stopped caring of what I'm expected to believe, and I have been working on figuring out what I believe in. Religion doesn't depend on what other people believe around you - it's what you feel in your heart and how you wish to practice it.