I'm Not Sorry For Falling In Love With Your Man

I'm Not Sorry For Falling In Love With Your Man

I wanted that hope in my life, even if I took it from yours.
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I shouldn't love you. Everything was off, especially the timing.

How can you meet someone so perfect for you, but at such a bad time? I know this perplexing feeling, and it's crushing.

Because all you want is them but you know what you are doing is wrong. In this case, it's because he is attached to someone else. I know, I know. People are going to call me a slut, home-wrecker, and so many other bad names.

The thing is...I have no defense and I tell him not to defend me either because they aren't wrong.

Not one word is wrong. It doesn't matter that I only had two boyfriends and never kissed a guy until I was 19. It doesn't matter that I never had negative intentions with him, but that I was lonely and we connected over shared interests.

Honestly, neither of us planned this. I know I didn't.

If anything, I resisted as much as I could. There are no excuses for what we did. It doesn't matter that I would console myself with "their relationship has been over for years" because it was never formally over. Until me.

I wish I never hurt you because I'm sure you are just as human as I am. I'm sure you deserve someone to love you the way he loves me and I love him. Don't you owe it to yourself to find someone who doesn't cheat on you?

I bet you laugh at the fact that he very well may cheat on me. I'm willing to take that risk, and I hope the leopard can change its spots. I believe in him. I believe in us. I know he wants to spend his life with me, no matter how long that may be.

I call myself a feminist but after what I've done to you, I question myself and my loyalty to women. I question if I'm a good person. Many people will say no but I like to think I still am.

I hurt you. He hurt you. You hurt him.

Everyone hurts everyone.

It's an endless cycle, one I don't believe will ever end. I learned to be wary and distrustful of people and I'm sorry for that because he made me begin to trust people again. That's why I love him. He had so much hope and love for people, despite being hurt time and time again.

I wanted that hope in my life, even if I took it from yours.

Here's the thing I learned though: I'm none of those things I mentioned earlier. I'm just a girl, who fell in love with your man and I'm so very sorry for hurting you, but I don't regret making him mine. I don't think you'll ever understand how sorry I am that I hurt you because I truly believe in supporting and respecting all women.

But I'm human who makes mistakes and falls in love. I'm a human, who hurts people and continues the cycle. I'm not a slut, even though you say I am. I'm not a home-wrecker, even though people will say so, even if your home was broken long before I came along.

I'm a girl who found a man that needed one push to leave a broken relationship. He needed a friend, someone to listen to him about his day. I'm not some succubus that seduced your man into her bed with her wild sex tricks. I have zero sex tricks. I'm as vanilla as they get.

I'm just a girl who fell in love with the right man at the wrong time, and you know what?

I'm not sorry for that.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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Want To Be A Better Boyfriend? Try These 5 Tricks

4. Listen to her.

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Some days, it seems like girlfriends are constantly asking for more, and while they may be annoying, there are a few simple ways to stop her nagging and win her praise.

1. Pay attention to her.

I promise you, she is dropping hints every day. These may sound like "Awh, look at all the pretty flowers" or "I haven't been to Boba House in so long!"

2. Plan dates. 

Text her while she is at school or work, and tell her to be ready when you get home or by a certain time. Give her an idea of how dressed up she should be, but don't tell her where you're going. Then, take her to her favorite restaurant, one she's mentioned lately, or to a new movie she'd been looking forward to!

3. Pick up small gifts for her.

This doesn't have to be anything expensive, but next time you're at the grocery store pick up her favorite candy, or a small flower bouquet. Just something little that will show her you were thinking of her when you weren't together.

4. Listen to her. 

Ask about her day, and when she tells you what Sarah did at work, ask her the next day or a few days later if things got better. Take interest in her life and remind her occasionally refer back to old topics to prove you do listen.

5. Get her involved in your interests.

It doesn't all have to be about her! Ask her to watch the game with you, or to go out with you to hang with your friends. She wants to be just as involved in your life as she wants you to be involved in hers!

At the end of the day, every relationship is different. Take this advice as vaguely as needed, and learn your partner and what they expect from you! Happy dating! :)

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8 Ways To Break Up With Someone The Right Way

Let's do this like an adult.

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Most of us have been there before, we've been dating someone and while things seemed good, maybe even great, for a while, they just aren't working out anymore.

This usually leads to the dreaded break up.

Breaking up with someone is no easy feat and it can be messy and complicated. If you do it the wrong way, the fall out can be far worse than it need be.

It's so important to be able to break up with someone in a respectful and adult manner, especially if you really do care about whomever it is that you are ending things with.

So, here are 8 rules to abide by when breaking up with someone:

1.  Try and do it in person

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I am sure that you have heard this before, but it is true. You do not want to be that douche that breaks up with someone over text. It honestly makes you look like you can't have the courage to confront them in person.

This rule applies especially if you have been dating for a long time or if you really do care about the person.

There are exceptions, such as if you are long distance, but if it is possible then try your best to do it in person. The reality is, is that this was someone that you used to (or still do) care about so that is the least that you can do for them.

 2. Be honest

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Be totally honest, but make it respectful. Like if you are breaking up with them because you think they are crazy, then don't necessarily tell them that. Say something more along the lines of why it wasn't working and be specific.

Especially be honest if you are leaving them for someone else. Do not lie because when they see that you are with someone else the week after, then that makes you look bad.

Yes, being honest can be hurtful sometimes, but in the end it is better to be honest than to lie and hurt them more down the road when they find out.

3.)   Make sure it is a good time

Not a good time

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Do NOT break up with someone during finals week or if his or her grandparents just passed away.

Just use some goddamn common sense.

You do not want to put even more stress on them and upset them more if they are already going through a tough time.

Unless things are really time sensitive and you can't stand to be with that person any longer then try and wait until things have calmed down a bit in their life.

Nobody wants to be the guy/girl that broke up with someone when their dog died because that's just ruthless, so don't do it!

 4. Don’t stall

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I realize that this is very contradictive to the last point, but this one applies to when there is not anything else really going on and you just are afraid to do it.

If you really think that it needs to be done, then just get it over with so you both can get on with your lives and move on.

 5.  Don’t give them hope 

No Hope

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If you really do not want to be with them anymore then don't use phrases like "maybe one day in the future" or "just not right now"

Why, you ask?

Because it is leading them on! It is giving them some glimmer of hope that there is a possibility that you guys will get back together again and it isn't right to string them along like that.

 6.  Don’t post about it on social media 

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Don't rant on Twitter about them and post petty quotes on Instagram about how happy you are that things are over.

Be mature and understand that bashing the relationship online is not how you respect the other person.

Even if they start it first, just let it go and move on to happier things.

7. Use “I” statements

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Yah, this might sound really cheesy, but when you use "I" statements, such as saying, "I feel…", then you are not making it sound like you are blaming them.

Instead, it feels more like you are just expressing your emotions.

8. If they cry, help them

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If they are crying, don't just walk away.

No matter how badly you are over the relationship, do not just leave them sitting there crying.

Offer them a shoulder if you feel its acceptable and some tissues.

I'm not saying that you need to act like how you would if you were still dating and they were crying, but you should show them some compassion.

It is best to walk away from the situation when they have calmed down.

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