Christian Bale Is #NotMyBatman
Start writing a post
Entertainment

Christian Bale Is #NotMyBatman

Christian Bale is the worst Batman to date.

245
Christian Bale Is #NotMyBatman
pixabay.com

First off, if you think Christian Bale is the best Batman then I hope your parents go to church every Sunday to repent for the satanic spawn they created.

If Bale is your Batman then your right as an individual should be taken away and locked in an asylum. I can't stress enough how horrible Christian Bale portrays the most popular superhero of all time, but if feel like every time a new movie including Batman comes out I'm arguing this with psychos nonstop.

Since the new "Justice League" is coming out soon, I feel like I'm losing my voice with the amount of times I argue this a week, so I'm going to write why Christian Bale is the absolute worst Batman ever.

Since 1943, we have had 8 different actors take on the cowl, but for argument's sake, we will only make comparisons towards Bales Batman to every "modern interpretation" of Batman. This starts with the Adam West era (1966). Christian Bale is considered the best based on reviews and popularity, but I will show you how you all are blinded from the truth and how even the most ridiculous portrayals somehow look great standing next to the "Dark Knight".

All right let's get down to the core of the argument: Why Christian Bale's Batman is the worst?

1. His Voice

He sounds exactly like the cookie monster. I understand that he is trying to strike fear into his enemies, but his voice doesn't sound scary at all. It actually makes me feel sorry for him as well as donate money to my local hospital for throat cancer research.

2. His suit

His suit looks horrendous! Just looking at his suit makes me want to vomit. (When I think of Batman, I don't imagine him with his face being smushed through his mouth) I'd rather stare at George Clooney's bat nipples then spend another minute looking at Christian Bales suit.

3. His fighting ability

For someone who was trained by "The League of Assassins", he can't fight to save his life! All he does is throw the lamest punches (that don't even go anywhere near his targets) and looks absolutely pathetic. Seriously, he ended up having his back broken and thrown down a well. Oh boy, he fixed his broken back and ready to take his revenge... Nope, he gets his ass kicked again only to have Cat Woman take his bat-bike and kill Bane with it.


4. The villains

You know you're bad when the bad guys of your movie steal the show. This point is what confuses the people who believe that Bale is the best. Yes, the "Dark Knight" trilogies are good movies. The Batman in it is bad, but the villains are so well acted and interesting that it manages to make really entertaining movies. If I'm more focused on Joker and Bane then Batman, then obviously something is wrong with Batman. So if you say that Bale is the best, then you're really just saying that you really like the "Dark Knight" movies. Just remember, you don't like Bale, but love Bane, Joker, Scarecrow, and Cat woman.


5. How Bale Compares

Adam West: (1966)

The peoples original Batman. He may look goofy, but goofy as he may seem, his fight scenes are more action packed and way more entertaining than Christian Bale's ever could be.

Micheal Keaton: (1989)

Micheal Keaton portrays the most accurate Batman in my opinion. He doesn't over act the role, and doesn't sound like he spent the whole night screaming at a metal concert. He fits perfectly into the dark deadly world of Gotham.

Val Kilmer (1995)

Definitely not the best portrayal of Batman, but Kilmer's suit is 100 times better than Bale's suit.

George Clooney: (1997)

He's George Clooney. End of discussion.

Ben Affleck (2015)

I had my doubts when they said Affleck was going to take on the cowl, but he proved me wrong. What a badass. When he is fighting the goons in the warehouse, in "Batman V. Superman" it left me with my jaw dropped. Just look at his suit! It's fantastic! His voice isn't overdone, and he actually strikes fear into his enemies with brute force, Bale has nothing on Affleck.

So know that you realize your faith is towards a false hero, it's time to burn your Dark Knight posters.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

935873
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

112607
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lots of people sat on the cinema wearing 3D glasses
Pinterest

Ever wonder what your friend meant when they started babbling about you taking their stapler? Or how whenever you ask your friend for a favor they respond with "As You Wish?" Are you looking for new and creative ways to insult your friends?

Well, look no further. Here is a list of 70 of the most quotable movies of all time. Here you will find answers to your questions along with a multitude of other things such as; new insults for your friends, interesting characters, fantastic story lines, and of course quotes to log into your mind for future use.

Keep Reading...Show less
New Year Resolutions

It's 2024! You drank champagne, you wore funny glasses, and you watched the ball drop as you sang the night away with your best friends and family. What comes next you may ask? Sadly you will have to return to the real world full of work and school and paying bills. "Ah! But I have my New Year's Resolutions!"- you may say. But most of them are 100% complete cliches that you won't hold on to. Here is a list of those things you hear all around the world.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

The Ultimate Birthday: Unveiling the Perfect Day to Celebrate!

Let's be real, the day your birthday falls on could really make or break it.

72476
​different color birthday candles on a cake
Blacksburg Children's Museum

You heard it here first: birthdays in college are some of the best days of your four years. For one day annually, you get to forget about your identity as a stressed, broke, and overworked student, and take the time to celebrate. You can throw your responsibilities for a day, use your one skip in that class you hate, receive kind cards and gifts from loved ones and just enjoy yourself.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments