As a music lover, I try to keep uo to date on the latest news and releases. Most of the artists I follow are ones that I grew up listening to. I love everyone from Madonna to Mariah Carey to Janet Jackson. However, every now and then, a new artist, song, or album comes along that intrigues me. When I first watched Ariana Grande's music video for "Thank U, Next," I enjoyed watching her reference the teen flicks I loved as a teenager. But the more I listened to the song, the more I could relate to the lyrics.

I became excited for the rest of the album. I immediately downloaded it on iTunes when it was released. There are a lot of songs on the album about independence. More specifically, independence from a relationship. Many of the album's tracks talk about being okay by yourself and not needing to be with someone. Of course, the album isn't anti-relationships. It welcomes love and even celebrates it on some songs. However, it definitely sounds like Grande realized that in order to have something wonderful with someone else, you must first be good on your own.

It's a journey that we're all on, or at least one we've all taken at some point in our lives. Some of us have to come to that realization more than once. It's quite common to learn the same lesson over and over again. I prefer to think of those moments as friendly reminders in case we forget. Of course, sometimes they can be extremely painful. Heartbreak, rejection, and moving on isn't an easy task. But the outcome is always worth it.

I can honestly say that independence is my number one priority right now. I'm not one to make New Year's resolutions, as I find they often make life improvements feel like work. Hence, making it more tempting to break them. However, as 2019 drew closer, I became more hopeful about my future. I felt like I turned over a new leaf after a year that triggered much anxiety and emotional restlessness.

I decided that my long term goals weren't as far away as I previously thought. In order to get even closer, however, I would need to gain more independence. It's something I've always strived for, but I moved slower than others my age. Guys were never a distraction, but it was tough for me to accept the fact that a relationship wasn't in the cards for me just yet. I would look at other people my age and see them either getting married or celebrating their love on social media.

It's easy to fall into the trap of comparison. Comparing ourselves to others, especially those our own age, is something most of us are guilty of. I know I am. It's even more common in the gay community. The obsession with youth and good looks is so omnipresent that it's easy to forget everyone has flaws. It's also easy to forget that everyone has a different journey. Our journey is for us alone and we shouldn't hold ourselves to an impossible standard.

That doesn't mean we shouldn't strive to better ourselves, though. That's what this period in my life is all about. However, it's important that we're clear on our reasons for doing so. We must do it for ourselves, not for anybody else. We also need to make sure we know how to improve. If we're not at a place in our lives that calls for a relationship, striving for one isn't the way to go. What we need to do is work on getting ourselves to a different place.

It reminds me of one of the songs on Grande's new album. At the beginning of the song "In My Head," we hear someone say, "The only person you can fix is yourself." I can certainly relate to Grande's journey right now. I have things to fix in my own life before I can share it with another person. After many years of loneliness and heartache, I've reached a point where I genuinely don't want someone. At least not right now. I'm at a point where it has become clear that achieving other things are more important to me.

And you know what? I'm just fine with that.