It's the same tragic story.

Every wide-eyed child in your third grade class had felt their "calling" to be a [teacher, doctor, gymnast] since the first time that they [went to school, watched Grey's Anatomy, saw Tracey do a killer kick-flip on the playground] and you couldn't ever relate. I think that this is a fairly common scenario (barring the fact that Grey's Anatomy wouldn't have actually been on in many people's third-grade memories.)

Some people have always known exactly what they want to do, but many of us go through phases of different careers to chase. I've definitely felt lost when thinking about all the choices out there, especially after deciding against one that I thought was perfect at first.

For example, at different points in my college life, I've been dead-set on becoming an author, a wedding planner, or even a hermit in St. Petersburg, Russia -- growing my own vegetables and convincing everyone in America that I'm dead.

All of these have fizzled as viable options for my future, though, weirdly. I usually come up with a new plan after one fails, but right now, I'm directionless once again. I'll admit, it's unsettling.

My only way of coping with that is to 1) use comedy to forget, and 2) create a list of problems I encounter from not knowing what I'm doing with my life.

Brooklyn 99 is here to help me, so let's dive in!

1. At first, you're boldly arrogant about your lack of direction.

After all, you're still just a college student! And besides, what could be better than rolling with the punches like a wild Zeppelin groupie?

2. After the excitement dies down, though, you start to question every decision you've ever made.

Where did it all go wrong? There's usually no way to tell, but it's probably best to despair about it for a little while. I mean, what else are you doing with your life?

3. Suddenly, listening to your friends talk about their productivity becomes very one-sided.

What are you supposed to say? "Yeah, I've been working toward getting a job in something that will satisfy me but also make me rich." "Wow, what job is that?" "Haha, exactly! This guy gets it."

4. And every time someone gets an internship or tells your which grad school they're going to next year, you just think:

Who do these people think they are, preparing for their lives like this? The nerve.

5. You want to be like Rosa in this moment...

6. And if anyone asks about what you want to do when you graduate, you can be a bit... testy?

Holt says it best. Maybe you could just be a balloon-arch connoisseur?

7. Those are the kinds of questions that push you into pursuing every possible career option (for basically no reason)

Hey, your parents always said that you could be anything you set your mind to. Why not be something completely random that you googled twenty minutes ago? Online quizzes can't be wrong, and it looks like the Internet wants you to be a Governor, so what are you waiting for?

8. Sometimes, you feel like you've finally found the All-Time Perfect Job (for real this time), but then the garbage bag of life crashes down on you, and you're back to square one.

9. In an effort to see if any of the careers out there call to you, you take some pretty eccentric classes.

Collaborative Planetary Dance was a heck of a time, am I right guys?

10. You're not sure if you actually will be rich and famous, but it's always felt like you should be, so it's haunting to imagine what your future might be like otherwise.

Yikes. What a frightening and very, very probable outcome!

11. In desperate moments, it's easy to panic about not accomplishing anything in life, so you go to extreme lengths to ensure that you leave a legacy.

It might be a weird, ultimately pointless book, but who knows? It could also end up in an English Lit textbook as the perfect example of communication in the year 2017!

12. Some days, you wish that "having a job" and "earning money" didn't even matter, and you could simply spend the rest of your days doing this with Jake and Amy:

Why can't life just be endless mattress-jumping and Irish-field-frolicking? What do I have to do to live in the Shire with the hobbits?

13. But even on your worst days, at least you know there's always someone you can turn to for guidance