Let me take you back to a time when I thought it would be cool to be a grown up.

I am sure you all look back on this moment in your childhood and go “what the hell was I thinking?” At least I am hoping I am not the only one that has this thought at a near constant rate.

There you are walking home from your middle school, which was a solid 18,000 blocks away from your house because your parents gave you the speech "well in my day..snow up to your ankles." Of course it's one of those tremendously hot days, rays of sun beating down on you and you're carrying the back pack that is probably half of your weight. All of the sudden, there are some college kids you kinda, sorta, by family ties know, driving past you in their car and you think God what I wouldn't give to be a grown up. I could drive, I wouldn't have to be home when the street lights come on, or listen to my mom nag me.

To quote Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, "BIG MISTAKE...HUGE."

Before you know it you're a senior in college, paying rent and bills, etc., and you have no idea what the hell you're doing. Taxes? Student loans? And for the love of all that is good, WHAT IS A W2?

You have to find a job and start paying things off, and you still have no idea what you're going to do with your major.

High school didn't prepare me properly to deal with this stuff. I looked at those kids that drove past me that day and it didn't seem like they had a care in the world. It seemed like everything was fine.

I guess, in a way, everything is fine.

In my experience, no one has it together. Everyone still has things they are unsure about. What to go to grad school for? Do I go to grad school? Wait, what's grad school? How to find a job, how to make money, why is everyone getting married? Do I need to get married? Oh wait...I don't have a boyfriend.

I have come to the solid conclusion that I am never going to have it figured out, and you know what? That's okay. People always ask the question, "What are you going to do when you graduate?" I just laugh (sometimes with tears), shrug my shoulders, with a wide smile answer, "No idea," and walk away.

It's okay to not know.

To never know for that matter.

Because somehow, with every person I have ever talked to, you figure something out along the way. You find what you like and what you hate. You win some, you lose some. You find out that life is hard but it's okay to not know what's going on.

No matter how bad things get, and how much I wanted to be a grown up then, there's no way I want to go back to those middle school days either. I'd rather struggle with trying to figure it out, then go back to carrying that back pack in the hot sun. (And I think, and hope, that many feel the same).