Its Okay To Be Alone

Its Okay To Be Alone

...Because You're Really Not
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This has been one of the hardest things for me to learn and come to terms with. I was never the person who needed constant attention or gratification, at least I thought so. In reality I had gone from relationship to relationship at a young age seeking just those things in every person I invested in. Finally, being out of a long term relationship I truly felt what it meant to be "alone". But I really wasn't. And that is exactly what I struggled with discerning. The difference between being alone and being at peace with myself.

When you are reliant on others for happiness and fulfillment you essentially give up a piece of yourself for them. This is a dangerous lifestyle because you are living with a void that you are letting others fill instead of trying to love your whole self with all of your pieces, no matter how jagged or broken they be. In theory we as humans are a giant puzzle made of many pieces. You can think of the pieces as emotions, feelings, or things.

I spent years giving my happiness to others. So all that I taught myself was that I need other people in my life in order to be happy. That it was physically impossible for me to be happy on my own. I do not resent myself for that, I am grateful that I can now look back on that part of my life and recognize the emotional and physical progress I have made.

After my last relationship had ended I felt entirely empty. The person I had given my happiness to for 3 years was no longer there to spend every minute, hour, weekend, conversation, memory, and picture with. I truly felt the meaning of being alone. This sent me into a downward spiral now searching for anyone I could find to fill my void. To give me my "happy" back. This included people who were totally unhealthy for me and brought me further into a depression.

It wasn't until my anxiety and depression were at an all time high and I began going to therapy did I realize what I was doing wrong. By being emotionally and mentally dependant on other people for happiness and satisfaction, I was ruining any ounce of love I had for myself. I was searching for other people to love me in order to be happy but all I had to do was learn to love myself.

Loving yourself isn't about needing to be in the best shape of your life or traveling the world or buying designer bags and clothes to flaunt on social media. That is temporary happiness. Loving yourself is about spending every single day doing something that makes you happy and that makes you feel like you are worthy and deserving of love, because you are.

It does not mean you need to be surrounded by others every day and publish all of your "friends" all over your social media so others know your loved. Self love isn't a facade, it's a raw essential emotion. It is about being able to sit in a room alone with your thoughts feelings and soul and be entirely content. It is about being able to go without your phone for hours because you're too busy focused on yourself, and NO that is not being selfish. It is making you and your mental and emotional health a priority, and you should be.

In the end, I realized I am never truly alone. Not only do I have an incredible loving family and the most genuine supportive friends, I have ME. And if I don't say so myself, I think I can be pretty freakin awesome. Call me pompous, call me narsissistic, but baby I just call that self love.

So the next time you're standing in an empty room with tears rolling down your face feeling alone, look in the mirror and remember you were brought into this world with one pretty amazing person on your side, YOU.

Cover Image Credit: https://www.theodysseyonline.com/am-not-alone-proverbs

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It's Time To Thank Your First Roommate

Not the horror story kind of roommate, but the one that was truly awesome.
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Nostalgic feelings have recently caused me to reflect back on my freshman year of college. No other year of my life has been filled with more ups and downs, and highs and lows, than freshman year. Throughout all of the madness, one factor remained constant: my roommate. It is time to thank her for everything. These are only a few of the many reasons to do so, and this goes for roommates everywhere.

You have been through all the college "firsts" together.

If you think about it, your roommate was there through all of your first college experiences. The first day of orientation, wishing you luck on the first days of classes, the first night out, etc. That is something that can never be changed. You will always look back and think, "I remember my first day of college with ____."

You were even each other's first real college friend.

You were even each other's first real college friend.

Months before move-in day, you were already planning out what freshman year would be like. Whether you previously knew each other, met on Facebook, or arranged to meet in person before making any decisions, you made your first real college friend during that process.

SEE ALSO: 18 Signs You're A Little Too Comfortable With Your Best Friends

The transition from high school to college is not easy, but somehow you made it out on the other side.

It is no secret that transitioning from high school to college is difficult. No matter how excited you were to get away from home, reality hit at some point. Although some people are better at adjusting than others, at the times when you were not, your roommate was there to listen. You helped each other out, and made it through together.

Late night talks were never more real.

Remember the first week when we stayed up talking until 2:00 a.m. every night? Late night talks will never be more real than they were freshman year. There was so much to plan for, figure out, and hope for. Your roommate talked, listened, laughed, and cried right there with you until one of you stopped responding because sleep took over.

You saw each other at your absolute lowest.

It was difficult being away from home. It hurt watching relationships end and losing touch with your hometown friends. It was stressful trying to get in the swing of college level classes. Despite all of the above, your roommate saw, listened, and strengthened you.

...but you also saw each other during your highest highs.

After seeing each other during the lows, seeing each other during the highs was such a great feeling. Getting involved on campus, making new friends, and succeeding in classes are only a few of the many ways you have watched each other grow.

There was so much time to bond before the stresses of college would later take over.

Freshman year was not "easy," but looking back on it, it was more manageable than you thought at the time. College only gets busier the more the years go on, which means less free time. Freshman year you went to lunch, dinner, the gym, class, events, and everything else possible together. You had the chance to be each other's go-to before it got tough.

No matter what, you always bounced back to being inseparable.

Phases of not talking or seeing each other because of business and stress would come and go. Even though you physically grew apart, you did not grow apart as friends. When one of you was in a funk, as soon as it was over, you bounced right back. You and your freshman roommate were inseparable.

The "remember that one time, freshman year..." stories never end.

Looking back on freshman year together is one of my favorite times. There are so many stories you have made, which at the time seemed so small, that bring the biggest laughs today. You will always have those stories to share together.

SEE ALSO: 15 Things You Say To Your Roommates Before Going Out

The unspoken rule that no matter how far apart you grow, you are always there for each other.

It is sad to look back and realize everything that has changed since your freshman year days. You started college with a clean slate, and all you really had was each other. Even though you went separate ways, there is an unspoken rule that you are still always there for each other.

Your old dorm room is now filled with two freshmen trying to make it through their first year. They will never know all the memories that you made in that room, and how it used to be your home. You can only hope that they will have the relationship you had together to reflect on in the years to come.


Cover Image Credit: Katie Ward

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5 Tips To Help You Feel Better If You're Sick

A few helpful tips if there's a bug going around.

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Not to brag, but I don't get sick very often, maybe once a year. When I do find myself a little under the weather, there's a few things I like to do for a faster recovery. I have no idea if any of these are 100% accurate, but I'd like to think they do. None of these will immediately make you feel better, but they'll help quicken the process.

Drink lots of water.

This one is a no-brainer, but it can be hard to do sometimes. I know when I'm sick, I definitely don't think about it. Water can help flush toxins out of your body, makes you hydrated, and can help you feel more awake and energized! If you're not a huge water drinker like I am, Tea also helps.

Stay home.

If you're sick, it's honestly better if you just take a day off and focus on feeling better. If you're worried about going to school or work, it's better that you don't spread anything. Let me just say, I'm fairly certain the last time I caught something was because someone behind me in a class was coughing through the entire lecture.

Rest.

This one goes with the last point, but sleeping will help your immune system fight off any infections. It's good to take some time off and get any extra sleep you can.

Clean everything.

I like to wash all of my clothes and bed sheet, because they're what I wear and touch the most, especially my pillow cases. This will help get rid of some germs and stop them from spreading. It's also good to disinfect anything you touch often, like doorknobs and table surfaces.

Take medicine.

This one also sounds like a no brainer, but seriously if you expect to feel better soon you should be taking some sort of medicine. At the very least, it'll help with your symptoms, so you're not couching or sneezing every couple minutes.

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