It seems like every time a man does something wrong and gets rightfully chewed out about it, there is always a flock of men (and yes, sometimes women, too) that just have to jump in and say, "well, not all men."

Anytime I hear or read those words I can't help but roll my eyes.

I'm sure anyone around me at the time can see the smoke billowing out my ears. You might think I'm being silly- I mean, why do three little words bother me and so many other women so much? To put it simply, it's because it's completely ignorant.

Everyone has a basic understanding that not all men do horrid things. Trust me, if all men were rapists, abusers, cheaters, and liars, the women population would have wiped men out long ago. Nobody has to say "not all men" because it's clear that it's not all of them.

When you say not all men, you aren't adding anything to a discussion or making an astute observation.

You aren't reassuring me or any other women around you that there are good guys out there because we know that already!

All it sounds like is that you are deflecting from the issues at hand: that men do hurt women, that men do rape women, that men do bad things.

When you say not all men do this or do that, it doesn't make up for the actions of those that did do those things.

If you are a man that has never done any cruel or downright evil acts to a woman (or frankly anyone in general), great! You're fine- there's no need to let everyone know that you're not like those other men, that your friends aren't like those other men, and that you don't think you're close to anyone that's like those other men. It doesn't stop awful people like that from existing, no matter how many times you say it.

Using this phrase is problematic for so many reasons, the most troublesome being that it gives foul people a way out. By trying to shift the focus (unintentionally or not) off of their wrongdoings, you not only keep them from being held accountable for their actions, but you also send a message to the world that as long as there are good guys out there, we shouldn't care what the bad ones do. It tells others that it's OK to ignore vile behavior because at least we might know a guy that would never do something so terrible.

The world is not as small as the circle of friends you keep. Maybe the men you associate yourself with are good people, but that doesn't mean all men are good. Instead of saying "not all men, et cetera, et cetera," start proving it. Call out men who sexually harass others, call out men who hurt women, call out men who behave so heinously- show us that not all men do act this way.

Yes, not all men are bad, but we need to accept that not all men are good. When you can understand that, then we can actually make a change.