Lately, I’ve seen a lot of articles floating around my Facebook feed dedicated to the people who don’t party in college. A lot of them sing the same tune; they’re the outcasts, they’re staying true to themselves, they’re rising above the college stereotype. It might be inspiring to read these articles about people who haven’t succumbed to peer pressure, but here’s the thing—nobody cares if you don’t party in college. Seriously, nobody cares.

I’m not saying this out of anger or bitterness. In fact, I identify with these kinds of articles more than you might think. I don’t party in college, either, unless “partying” means “trying to get to Sonic to order half-price milkshakes before it closes.” And it’s not because a religion forbids me from it, or I have a problem with underage drinking. To put it simply, I just think there are better ways I can spend my time than being crammed in a hot room with dozens of intoxicated students.

But that doesn’t mean that I’m opposed to the party lifestyle. I don’t think that the amount of alcohol you consume as a college student is a good indicator of your worth as a person—you can’t judge someone by the number of shots they down in the dark corner of a frat house the Saturday before finals week. Just because college parties aren’t my thing, doesn’t mean that I can assume some position of moral superiority for being “above” the college mentality.

Your friends will go out and have the time of their lives, and you’ll get to stay in and have the time of your life, too. I don’t really get negative reactions when I tell someone that I’m not into the party scene. And if I do, then they’re not really my friends. Your real friends are the ones who don’t care and don’t judge. So why would you care or judge them for going out to those frat parties on the weekends?

I get it. When I started out in the dorms my freshman year of college, I was worried that I’d be the odd one out. But guess what? I wasn’t. Not partying in college is more common than you might think. In fact, I soon learned that no matter where you are, there will always be at least one other person who isn’t into that kind of lifestyle, either. You’re not rare or special because you don’t want to go to a college party—you just have different preferences! It’s fine to be different, but it’s not okay to think that your aversion to parties makes you more special than others.

Not partying in college doesn’t somehow make you a better person, and partying doesn’t make you cooler. You’re not rising above some immoral college stereotype—you’re just doing what you want to do, just like the people who party are doing what they want to do. If you don’t want others to judge you for your lifestyle, don’t judge others for theirs. We’re only in college for a short amount of time, anyway—why waste any of it worrying about what other people think?

Sincerely,

The girl who doesn’t care if you don’t party