There's No Such Thing as Lost Love

There’s No Such Thing As Lost Love

What's meant to be yours will always come back to you, one way or another.

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The day's first rays of sunlight made each blade of grass and dandelion weed glisten like the front display of a jewelry shop on Fifth Avenue. She stood there, riding pants perfectly tailored to fit her long, slender legs and thirty-two-inch waist, and her freshly ironed shirt, sleeveless, revealed tanned and toned shoulders that belonged only to one of the most prominent equestrians in the area. As she whispered that morning's secrets and stroked the mane of Twinkle, her thousand-pound Thoroughbred, the deafening thunder of a 1955 Harley-Davidson Hummer zoomed partially by the pasture, then came to a screeching halt.

"Hey, Sandy! Are you comin' up to the party at the Bishops' tonight?" asked helmet-doffing Peter Green, a gangly seventeen-year-old whose family owned the estate only a few doors down.

The question hung heavily in the air as Sandy's eyes couldn't help but be drawn away from Peter's eager face to examine the beautiful, silent stranger that sat on the pillion directly behind him, and who peered back at her with a parallel curiosity and intrigue.

Suddenly at a loss for words, Sandy managed to stutter, "Hey, Pete…uhm, yeah, I'm thinkin' about makin' it up there!"

"Good, I hope to see ya there then!" quipped Peter as he fiddled with the bike's key until he heard that familiar purr emerge from under him. The mysterious Marlon Brando doppelgänger gave a small smile and was off as quickly as he appeared with a slight nod of his caramel-colored head.

Sandy knew at that moment that she had to make it to that party.

Later that evening, Sandy and her mysterious new suitor, Dan, were the talk of the party as they could not peel their eyes away from each other, and, by curfew, had planned to go on their first date the following day. Still in high school, Sandy and Dan were the original power couple of high-society Upstate New York. They attended every party, dinner, ball, and fundraiser together; Dan escorted Sandy to the Snow Ball, where she was presented to society as a debutante; and they wrote every week as Dan, one year her senior, went off to college out of state.

After five years together, Dan returned home from college one summer with the news that he had become engaged to someone else, ending Sandy's dreams for a future with Dan where she stood. In the following years, both Sandy and Dan got married, had children and grandchildren, moved out of their hometowns, and went on with their lives, entirely separate from one another, leaving the possibility of what once was to the unpredictable will of life.

No, this is not a mildly altered version of Nicholas Sparks' latest, but rather the story of my grandma, Sandy, and the first love of her life, Dan. When I went through my first, real heartbreak, she sat with me and told me that she knew how it felt. The despair, the emptiness, the loss of hope that anything good would ever come again; but she never failed to remind me that if I wanted to make it to whatever better things lay ahead, I had to make it through the bad first. It's what she did, and it's what every soul that has ever been heartbroken has managed to do, one step and one day at a time.

A few years after Dan, my grandfather came along and gifted my grandma with 57 incredible years of marriage, three successful children, and five growing grandchildren—gifts she would not exchange nor replace for the world. When my grandfather passed in January of 2018, my grandma decided to become more social and reach out to old friends she had neither seen nor spoken to in years. She made a Facebook, and within a few days had friends from the past five decades and all over the world reaching out to offer their condolences and see how she was doing. One friend request stuck out more than any other, however, and sent a slight tremor through the heart and memories of my grandma: Dan's.

Now eighty years old and married for a second time, Dan and my grandma have rekindled a loving friendship in which they check on each other at least once a week, laugh, share stories, and try to catch up on the years they lost. Dan is happily married, and my grandmother happily single, but there is something that I find beautiful about this rekindling of an old flame in a new way.

Although I find it bittersweet, and love to dream about all of life's what-ifs with my grandma, I have come to realize that funny situations like these are what life is about. Nothing is ever certain, nor is anything ever final, so if you feel like you've recently lost a great love in your life or are still mourning one from long ago, whether that be in the form of a friend, family member, or partner, know that the heart never forgets or eliminates that love, it simply stores it away for safekeeping and potentially a later encounter. No matter how hopeless some times in our life may seem, in most cases, goodbye is rarely ever goodbye, it's more of an "I'll be seeing you."

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13 Movies Every Couple Needs To Watch Before They Get Married

Let's be honest, Rachel McAdams is in all the best love stories.

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These 13 movies are the foundation of any long-lasting relationship, and I'm not joking. Each movie will show you something new about your partner, and make you ask each other the hard questions. How many kids do you want and how are you going to raise them? What would happen if you got into a horrible accident? Some are less serious though, like what if you could time travel?

I promise that not every one of these movies is a Nicholas Sparks classic, and I also promise that not every movie has Rachel McAdams in it!

1. "The Time Traveler's Wife"

This movie is both heartbreaking and amazing.

2. "About Time"

Let's be honest, Rachel McAdams is in all the best love stories. It's on Netflix right now, so grab some snacks and turn it on!

3. "Like Crazy"

This infamous Tumblr gif came from "Like Crazy." It's about a couple who goes long distance and build their life together. I used to cry every time I watched it, and I'm no crier! It also has the (now famous) Felicity Jones in it.

4. "The Notebook"

Every girl wants this kind of love.

5. "The Last Song"

Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth are literally married now so if that isn't good luck, I don't know what is.

6. "Safe Haven"

You guessed it! This is another Nicholas Sparks classic. This movie has a dark twist as well, which men will love.

7. "Inside Out"

You may be thinking that this one is a bit weird. Well, this movie will help both you and your partner understand each other's emotions better.

8. "The Choice"

This movie is great because the female lead is feisty and extremely intelligent, which usually doesn't happen in love stories. How do you keep the love alive with a woman who is hard to get, and even harder to keep entertained?

9. "The Longest Ride"

Originally I could not stand the main female lead (Britt Robertson) but now she is in one of my favorite shows (For The People), so I have no choice. This movie had me on the end of my seat, and as a rom-com it is a must.

10. "The Age Of Adaline"

I began loving the name 'Adaline' thanks to this movie. This unlikely love story and self love journey really gets me.

11. "The Vow"

Imagine falling in love with someone and building a life, but an accident forces you to start all over?

12. "Titanic"

If they don't have any sort of reaction to this movie, they are probably not the one for you.

13. "Yours, Mine, & Ours"

Yours, Mine, & Ours is a true classic. Are you Helen or Frank Beardsley? You should figure that out before you tie the knot!

You're welcome!

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Being A Military Wife Is Not The Same As Serving In Active Duty

It's about balance, and it's hard to find a happy medium between serving and supporting your spouse.

yahairas
yahairas
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I enlisted into the United States Air Force as a fresh-faced 18-year-old. I had just graduated high school and never experienced life on my own, away from what I knew and my loved ones and friends. The military was my first legitimate job. Thankfully, I knew independence since I had parents that ensured I knew how to handle myself. That does not mean I joined knowing everything there was to know. Far from it, actually, but that's OK.

My first and only duty station was Malmstrom Air Force Base. Before you think that Malmstrom is some exotic and foreign land, it's definitely not. My first base was in Montana. A very cold and unpredictable climate where you could experience beautiful summer sunshine one day and the next, find yourself running back up to your room to escape from the unexpected blizzard.

I was stationed in Montana as a security forces member (military police) for six very long years. During this time, I met some wonderful people as well as some people I know I would not mind never seeing again. I did a lot of my growing up at this location.

There were hard lessons that needed to be learned and experiences that I had to have in order to know what and what not to do in the future. Security forces is not the easiest or best job in the military. There are more challenges as a security forces member than most careers in the Air Force. There is the very likely chance of deployment into hostile locations where the member will face life and death challenges and have to make quick and ugly decisions and the schedule and duties are not ideal.

However, the good often outweighs the bad. The rewards for surpassing these challenges that seemed insurmountable at the time are some of the best in the world. I can say that the life lessons during my time in the service, no matter how uncomfortable it was at the time, is an experience of a lifetime. These challenges are unknown to the military spouse.

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Not long after separating from the military, I got married. We met while I was still in the military. My husband is still active duty in the Air Force, turning me into a military wife and dependent. It was a different role to take, knowing how many people in the military viewed military spouses. I found myself in a different bracket or tier than a lot of people. I was a military wife that was prior military. I understand the challenges my husband still undergoes in his enlistment because I knew the military life at one point. I did not have to be introduced into the military and the way it works blindly.

Throughout my enlistment, there were stories and jokes regarding military spouses, with emphasis on the military wife. Even now that I am no longer in the service, I still see memes on social media where military wives serve as a running joke. The jokes involving weight, attractiveness, infidelity or wives wearing the rank of their military spouse while attempting to utilize what power that rank may hold. Due to the stories I heard while I was in, I had a pre-conceived idea of what to expect as a military spouse. Some of the stories and jokes came from a center of truth. However, the stigma for a military wife would follow any and all military wives no matter the validity or lack thereof.

Photo of Yahaira Seawright at her Airman Leadership school graduation Yahaira Seawright

When I became a military wife, I wanted to make sure I did not fall under that stereotype. Becoming the dependent gave me something else to consider. It gave me the unheard side of those military spouses. There are so many challenges that we also face while being married to the military.

For example, we pick up and go at a moment's notice and often leave our careers behind if our spouses get moved. This makes it really hard to make friends and connections with other people. Plus, there's the reality that our spouses could lose their lives serving for our country.

A lot of the time, we become a single parent when our spouses are deployed. If we do go with, finding employment is really competitive and hard to do at all. It's hard on both of us because neither party will ever truly understand why things are done a certain way. Some things just aren't fair and that's a hard reality to deal with.

So, yes, the service of the military member is the military member's service, not ours. That fact does not mean we do not have our own sacrifices we made when we decided to marry into the military family.

The experience of the military member and the military spouse are two different sides, but they're both equally important.

yahairas
yahairas

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