It's Time To End The Trope Of Blaming Someone Else For Matters They Don't Deserve

It's Time To End The Trope Of Blaming Someone Else For Matters They Don't Deserve

Yoko Ono didn't break up The Beatles, Ariana Grande didn't kill Mac Miller, and Courtney Love didn't murder Kurt Cobain.

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It's very plain, obvious, and unarguable to many Beatles fans that Yoko Ono was the demon that tore apart the iconic band. In fact, Yoko Ono's own career as an artist has been uprooted by this stigma that she broke up The Beatles. Still, I feel as if it's impossible for a single woman to tear apart an entire band and there are plenty of other factors that lead to this break-up. Yoko Ono is the easy answer to the question "Why did The Beatles break up?". Still, this is not the only moment in music history, when a complex question was answered with the name of an artist's significant other. It is normal for humans to search for simple answers to complicated questions, but placing blame on another person is something that has become too common and I think it's about time we put an end to this trope.

In the recent news of Mac Miller's tragic death, people were in shock. Some didn't know how to react and in correlation to that, people began to put the blame on his ex-girlfriend, Ariana Grande. When Ariana Grande posted an image of Mac Miller on her Instagram a couple days after his death, the comments blew up with remarks like "You did this to him" and "It's all your fault". Some remarks even went as far to say Ariana Grande killed Mac Miller. Ariana, already saddened by the news of her friend's death had to now also face this incredible guilt placed on her by people accusing her of killing her ex-boyfriend. No one could have planned or schemed Miller to overdose, so it is hard to understand why someone would place this full blame on Ariana Grande, someone who loved Mac Miller so much.

Another example of this trope playing out is in the case of Kurt Cobain's death. When Kurt Cobain died in 1994, Nirvana fans placed the blame on Courtney Love for causing his depression. Some even go as far to say that she murdered him. Love had made some unjustifiable mistakes while in her relationship with Kurt Cobain. I cannot support her in her decisions to cheat on her husband multiple times nor applaud her for using many illegal drugs. Still Much like the events that occurred after Mac Miller's death, a significant other was blamed for the death of a deeply loved artist.

I'll admit conspiracy theories are fun and exciting, but I think we need to separate conspiracy from real living people with real emotions. Yoko Ono has made many mistakes in her life but, she has been reduced from the title of an avant-garde artist to the woman who tore apart the Beatles. Courtney Love was toxic towards Kurt Cobain but, she was not the sole reason Kurt Cobain committed suicide. Ariana Grande did not have control over Mac Miller's death and she's coping with the same feelings of sadness as his fans. Blaming someone is a coping mechanism that has been reused over and over again. With this being said, significant others have been blamed countless times for vital pieces of music history and I think it's time we put an end to this common occurrence in the music industry.

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A Letter To My Angel, Amanda

Rest Easy Angel 11.07.18

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Amanda,

Your death has been the hardest thing for me to accept because every day I knew you, you were so full of life. You were radiant. Your presence lit up every room you walked into and your infectious laugh filled it. You cared for everyone and put others before yourself. You were one of my first forever friends.

You accepted and loved me for everything I was and everything I was not. You kept me company whether we were sitting in my basement doing nothing at all or spending the day in New York City. You were constantly making me laugh and were always there for me.

I scroll through my camera roll and your Facebook all the time and there are so many random pictures of us that I can't place, that I can't explain, but they're my favorite pictures because they remind me that we have so many memories together that it's impossible to remember them all.

But every time I think of you I'm overwhelmed with seas of memories that I can remember every moment of. Do you remember when we went to your farmhouse for the weekend and spent hours melting crayons with a hair dryer to make our own board? Well, that picture ended up being my Dads background for about 6 years, I still can't tell you why.

Or the day I found out I was moving back to California and you held me while I ugly-cried and told me that we would be friends no matter how far apart we were because you knew that was my biggest fear? And then moving day when you came over and drew notes in sharpie over all of my boxes and we made a mattress slide?

I have countless memories that include you that I'll cherish forever, from playing Just Dance with you in the basement to sharing our 13th birthday party.

These past two months I've been full of anger. I've been angry at the world for taking you and angry at myself for letting life and distance get in the way. I'll probably hold a piece of that anger for the rest of my life but I'll also hold eternal appreciation and admiration for you.

I want to tell you that I appreciate that you were always there for me when I needed someone. I appreciate that you could make me laugh until I couldn't breathe even on my worst days. I appreciate that you accepted me for all my flaws and never expected perfection. I appreciate that you were always supportive and encouraging and most of all I appreciate that you were the most amazing friend.

I want you to know that I admire your strength. I admire how you were always able to find the good in everything and see the best in everyone. I admire how selfless you were, always putting others before yourself. I admired how nonjudgmental you were, you always gave the best advice. I admire how hard headed you could be, never giving up until you reached your goal but more importantly I admired you for being you.

Remembering you is so easy, it's having to miss you that's so hard. My life is better because you were a part of it and I'm far from the only one. There is an army of people that miss you every day that will carry a piece of you forever. Rest easy, angel.

I love you.

Shea.

You are forever in our hearts. 

Amanda Aujero

"Amanda was one of my only friends starting high school and was there with me through family dinners, sleepovers, breakups, SAT's, and graduation. She was a light and such a beautiful person. We laughed so hard together that we would pee our pants. I miss her like crazy and plan on visiting her and talking to her for the rest of my life. She taught me to live with no regrets." -Mary Skrzypczak

"One thing I loved about Amanda was that she had such an open-mindedness I could tell her anything with no judgements." -Avery Zulauf

"My favorite memory of Amanda is us driving down the main road in LBI and laughing our asses off. I have known Amanda for years but her last 2 1/2 years on earth, I feel as if we got the closer we had ever been and I'm internally grateful for that. I love you Amanda." -Catie Keating

"There's a billion amazing words I could use that perfectly describe Amanda, but the one that I think differentiates her from most people is "real". She was real. That girl was truly one of a kind; irreplaceable. I knew from a young age when we became friends in elementary school that I could lose all of my friends but if I only had her I would be okay. It even felt that way at times but she and I were happy having just each other. One of my favorite memories with her was when I moved to Florida to start my freshmen year in high school. We were both upset we weren't experiencing high school together and we promised that we would never stop being best friends. I was scared starting at a school in a new state and not knowing anyone, and you know what Amanda did? For the first week or so before I made friends she would FaceTime me at lunch everyday so I wouldn't eat alone. Now that's true friendship right there. When I moved back it was like I never left. I always thought of her as a sister who just happened to be my best friend too. If you learn one thing from this it's that everyone should have an Amanda in their life. And if you don't, then don't settle because if you have that relationship with someone it outweighs having hundreds of friends. Having that special relationship with someone regardless if you're both here or not will never die. It lives on and it's something that I will cherish forever." -Selena Gonzalez

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Poetry On Odyssey: Babygirl

Babygirl, look at me.

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Babygirl, you keep me warm at night

When the world is cold, and shining bright.


Babygirl, look at me

You and I, are destined to be.


Babygirl, the clock is ticking

So soon enough, we'll be kissing.


Babygirl, look at me

You're so strong, just like a tree.


Babygirl, the world is spinning

But you and I just keep on grinning.


Babygirl, look at me

You're so beautiful, can't you see?


Babygirl, hold on tight

And hope the bed bugs do not bite.


Babygirl, look at me

I love you as much as you love the bourgeoisie.


Babygirl, you're so funny

And so sweet, just like fresh honey.


Babygirl, look at me

I love your spirit, so wild, so free.


Babygirl, I love you

And I'm ecstatic you love me too.

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