For as long as I can remember, I've always been extremely bothered when I think someone is upset. I usually assume that I am at fault for their sadness and then go out of my way to try and make them feel better.

I use to always like these compassionate, caring characteristics, but as I have gotten older, I have come to realize that at times they can be unhealthy for me.

I am not saying that being a nice, caring person is bad by any means because you should always try to be kind. However, there is a line to be drawn.

When you constantly put others peoples happiness before your own, you end up leaving yourself in the dust.

I remember reading a quote one time that said “you can’t make anyone else happy until you make yourself happy” and this is so true.

Life is too short to spend all your time trying to please others. And as I have learned, if your goal is to solely make others happy, you will find that you will not be successful. It is impossible to make everyone happy in every situation. You just can’t control it.

However, you can control your own emotions. Instead of spending all your energy on pleasing others, please yourself. Do want makes you happy (or as my sister says “do you”) and in turn you will find that your life is more full.

I’m not saying that this is always easy. I constantly struggle with this problem. I worry and feel anxious anytime I believe that I have upset someone and fear saying no. I spend hours dwelling over it. However, my new goal for this coming up year is to put me first.

So if you are like me, and find yourself in a constant state of worry, here are some things to think about:

• Worrying doesn’t make anything better.
• You are not a puppy or a slice of pizza so you can’t make everyone happy.
• Life is wayyyy to short to spend minutes, hours, days worrying over big or small things.
• Do what you love, not what everyone else loves.
• You can’t carry the weight of everyone’s happiness on your shoulders, and you shouldn’t.
• You are not being selfish if you put yourself first sometimes!

Though getting over this obstacle of pleasing may be challenging at times, it is important for us to make the steps towards our end goal.