About an hour ago, I found out the shocking and heartbreaking news that one of my former high school classmates had committed suicide. He was in my graduating class, but the things we have in common don’t stop there. We both have been attending Texas public universities, we both are members of the Greek system, and we are the same age. However, I am alive and he is now dead. I am in utter disbelief as I write this.

I didn’t know him all too well, but when I think about suicide, his name is the furthest thing from what comes to mind. He transferred to our school in the fall of our junior year, and I had one class with him. He was jolly, tall, and a member of the football team. But, there were some people who would poke fun at him and his last name in a joking-but-not type of way, and who would generally not treat him the way that people should treat others, with kindness and respect.

Here is a young man, who by all outside accounts came from a loving, supportive family, attended a fantastic, top-ranked university, was a fraternity member, and yet somehow felt like ending it all was the only answer. This has me thinking about quite a few things, and I decided to dedicate this article to those thoughts.

The first, most glaring reflection that has come about through this tragic event is that our words and actions leave deep, painful scars. This boy was often the butt of many jokes, and as I said previously, was not regularly treated respectfully in high school. We all deserve to be accepted and loved in our every day environment, and we should always, always treat others the same way we want to be treated. It’s the Golden Rule.

None of us are perfect, and yes, we all have bad days and issues of our own. But we can’t forget that what we say and do can have a serious impact on those we interact with. Something as small as a smile to a stranger crossing the street can turn their day around. On the other hand, an unkind word said to a friend or family member can linger for years and could push anyone to do the unthinkable, as this young man did. Now I am in no means saying that it was bullying that caused him to take his own life, but it is something to think about when we remember just how powerful our words and actions are.

At the tender age of 20 years old, this boy felt the need to end his life. That is truly sad. Suicide is inherently counterintuitive to human nature, as nearly every part of our species’ basic instincts are to keep us alive. Regardless of how you morally and/or religiously feel about the act of suicide, it remains one of the most distressing ways to leave Earth.

Suicide is a permanent answer to a temporary situation.

When you are walking in the absolute deepest, darkest valley of your life, nothing seems easier than just saying goodbye to the world and all of your current problems. The most beautiful and cruel thing about life is that everything is temporary. The good times aren’t forever, which is a bummer, because who doesn’t want the good times to keep rolling, and the bad times aren’t forever, which is the silver lining to the black cloud hanging over us at the time. Perhaps there was an unknown inner extenuating circumstance within his soul that made it to where his life was never, ever, ever going to get better, but it is heartbreaking that his life is now over before it ever really began.

We may never know exactly why he made the choice to die, but he did, and it just goes to show that we have no idea what someone is going through on the inside based on their outward appearance. Appearances can be quite deceiving, and we construct these happy, fun personas on social media, but could be absolutely aching and breaking down when we log out and power off.

I found about his death initially through Facebook. He didn't have statuses saying, “I’m so sad, I’m going to kill myself” or tagged pictures of him indicating that he wanted to die. This hearkens back to how we should be treating others the way we want to be treated, and always being kind, because everyone you meet is fighting a very hard battle that we know nothing about, just as this young man was.

If you are feeling hopeless and like you want to end it all, there are a myriad of different resources and hotlines available for you to use at any time, such as the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8355) and the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. Do not be afraid to open up to a close family member, friend or any person you trust if you are struggling with something.

Solutions can be found, and one of them is not to go through with suicide. Last fall, when I was going through a period of anxiety and depression, I leaned on my mom and the excellent physician she put in my path. He looked me dead in the eye after I went to his office and cried as I opened up to him about how difficult my transition had been and told me, “We’re going to get you through this and get you the help that you need.”

At the end of the day, this boy’s death is unthinkable. Gone too soon, he will never own his first home, see his first child being born, or get his first raise from his first job after graduation. I pray that he rests in peace and that his family is comforted in this time of grief.