1. When the person across the isle from you decides to clip their toenails.

WHY?!

2. When that same person decides to call their sibling and have a very loud conversation about the color of their poop this morning.

It was green from all the green St. Patty's day beer they drank, in case you were wondering. I sure as hell wasn't.

3. Manspreading

You're literally taking up the space of two people. Please stop.

No, please keep speaking at a screeching loud volume about how drunk you are. We love it.

5. When you can’t tell if someone farted, or if you’re near the Meadowlands.Thanks, New Jersey.

6. MANSPREADING.

7. Sitting next to the chattiest person in the tristate area and having to pretend like you’re interested in their sixteen cats and how they shed all over the wool they use to knit.

I'm sure you're a lovely person, but it's 6:30 AM. I'd rather be asleep.

8. Alternately, sitting next to the crankiest person on the train.

Should I apologize for breathing?

9. When someone in your car loses their ticket and insists it’s the conductor’s fault for not immediately, a) producing a new (free) one, or b) intuitively knowing where it is.

You're an adult, kindly act like it. The conductor is just doing their job.

10. MANSPREADING!!!!

11. Crying. Children.

There is no worse sound in the world.

12. Vomit.

And there is no worse smell than 45 minute old vomit because someone threw up fifteen minutes into the train ride and it's an hour to the station.

In summation: