Okay, please chill! I promise when you’re done reading this article, you’ll still be able to eat!

If you’ve read my last article on sex, you know I’m quite fascinated by this topic (well, that might be an understatement). I’m all for making sex talk available and accessible because that’s the only way to help us work through problems with sex. Today, I want to show you how sex is like food.

1. You don’t need it to survive.

I think we can all come to the consensus pretty easily that we don’t need sex to survive. I’ve never heard of anyone died from lack of sex, at least. I know you might argue differently for food. You say everyone needs to eat or else you’re gonna die!

Well, hold that thought. There’s actually research study done on a person who didn’t eat for over a year and still lived. Also, I’m sure you’ve heard of super religious people who lived happy healthy lives on water or even air (e.g., breatharian).

My point is, you can live without food, the same way you can live without sex.

2. Most people “need” them still.

But of course, a life without food or sex is not for everyone!

Most people need food and sex. In fact, they are more than just survival essentials. Food and sex can bring people so much joy and pleasure when done right. If it’s hard for you to think about sex, then just imagine how much less colorful and enjoyable your life will be without food.

The ice cream on a sunny day, the cotton candy at a carnival, the chocolates on Halloween, the turkey on Thanksgiving, and so much more. Imagine a life without them! Sex pretty much works in the same way. It brings so much joy to people. Not only that, think about how you feel when engaged in sex with a loved one – desirable, fulfilled, happy, confident. All the good feelings God designed for you to own when He created you.

3. They bond people.

This shouldn’t be a surprise, considering how often gatherings are around meals and relationships are solidified by sex. Food and sex just make people happy. They literally impact our brains by eliciting dopamine (i.e., the “happy chemical”) secretion! When this feeling is paired with people around us, our brain creates an association between the feelings and others present at the moment.

If you’ve heard of classical/Pavilion conditioning: when a dog associated bell rings with food, he starts salivating as soon as he hears the bell, even when there’s no food present. When paired repeatedly for enough times, even without the presence of food or occurrence of sex, the sight of your friends or partner would be enough to elicit that happy chemical secretion in your brain! That’s how food and sex make you happy to see your friends and partner.

4. You can for sure overdo it.

As amazing as food and sex are, you can still overdo it. Within the cultural context, people would probably not even pause to agree publicly that one can overdo sex. But actually, I feel like I might even need to elaborate more to convince people sex can be overdone. So many people are suppressing their needs for sex nowadays – not just sex with another person – that they might secretly have a hard time understanding how one can overdo sex because they just feel like they never get enough!

That’s the exact reason I advocate for opening up conversations around sex! Everyone has different limits when it comes to sex, the same way with food. An active athlete will for sure need much more food than a nanny. One person may need more sex than the next. Yet, a “ceiling” always exists. Just think about how you physically and emotionally feel after a Thanksgiving meal.

Needless to say, you don’t feel too good for eating way too much food, regardless if you’re an athlete or a nanny. Same with having too much sex, at some point, you just start feeling sick and losing the fun.

5. You need to protect your body from them.

I’m sure your parents have told you to always “wash your hands” and “clean your food” before you eat. No doubt you need to protect yourself from all the germs trying to go into your body and destroy you! No one likes stomachache that feels like stabbing or fever that seems to burn you alive. You’d better make sure you adhere to the precautions so that you don’t end up hurting your body.

Well, sex comes with its own risks, too. AIDs shouldn’t sound too unfamiliar to anyone, though not everyone who has sex will get it. The same way unclean food can cause illnesses at different levels, unprotected sex can infect people with various diseases. Some are more serious than the others. Always make sure you’re taking precautions and practicing safe sex to protect your body.

6. You can make bad choices and suffer.

Ice cream and pizza for every meal sounds awesome, until someday when you have to deal with the consequences of a bad diet. Trust your parents when they tell you to eat more “real food”. Surely donuts and milkshake can fill you up and satisfy your taste buds, but somewhere down the line, you’re going to have to pay the price, whether it’s diabetes, hypertension, or other conditions.

Hooking up with randos all the time also sounds great until you realize it’s costing your time for school, work, and friends. As a result, you are left with a bunch of people you barely have any deep emotional bond with. Ice cream sandwich once in a while is fine. Having sex with someone you don’t know too much once in a while won’t kill you either. But, somewhere along the line, you’re going to face the consequences.

How much are you willing to pay for being reckless?

7. Everyone loves “gourmet”.

If you’ve ever been to a higher-end restaurant, you know the difference between those gourmet foods and your average fast food. In fact, gourmet doesn’t have to be in a restaurant. It can be your grandma’s secret recipe if you will. What makes gourmet tastes so good are the fresh ingredients, the deliberate cooking process, and the beautiful presentation. Gourmet is always a special experience.

Sex can be done with such care and made special as well, when it happens at the right time, in the right place, and with the right person. Then, sex becomes a precious “gourmet” experience.

8. Everyone has their own regimen.

Different people have different styles of eating. Some love meat, some thrive on plants and some like both. Everyone has their own standard of how much of what to eat, too. Paleo, vegetarian, vegan, and pescetarian can all be good if it serves you well.

Everyone also has different orientations when it comes to sexuality. Food and sex are both such personal things. Do what you will as long as it suits you well and you’re not hurting other people.

9. Bad luck still strikes sometimes.

Sometimes, even when you took all the precautions, you went to a great restaurant or got your grandma’s original recipe, you still end up with disaster. You may still end up with a stomachache or very unpleasant food, even though you “did everything right”! It’s super frustrating but bad luck just happens.

Similarly, even if you used protection, chose the right person/place/time, you still end up with a bad experience. When this happens, don’t beat yourself up thinking about what you did wrong. But also don’t blame God, saying how unfair it is, or even give up the idea of trying completely.

No, those are the moments when you need to become even stronger and braver. Those are the moments you grow, so next time, when an opportunity presents itself, you’re better at catching and treasuring it.

Hope I just made you look at sex in a whole new way, and think of sex as something more talkable.