My mother always used to tell me that a friend to all, is a friend to none. I didn't really realize what she meant by that until I experienced it for myself. I found myself in a situation where some of the girls in my high school friend group weren't including me and being very distant. I asked one of my closest friends, who was also a part of this group, to help me figure out what was going on.

While she agreed that what they were doing was wrong, she didn't want to get involved and said it'd be easier if I just ignored it. I didn't understand why she didn't defend me to the other girls, seeing as she was such a good friend. She told me that because she was friends with both of us (despite obviously being closer to me, or so I thought) she couldn't choose a side. I tried ignoring the hurtful things that the other girls said and did, but it only got worse. All the while, my so-called close friend continued to let it happen by pretending that everything and everyone was fine.

You see nice people don't let their friends get bullied because they don't want to pick sides. Nice people don't refuse to stand up for people because they can't handle conflict. Nice people aren't friends with everyone because not everyone deserves your friendship.

In time, I realized that I deserved a lot better and so I walked away from that friend group. Now in college, I have a more clear understanding of what friendship should look like and how it's near impossible to be friends with everyone. What my mother meant was that someone who is friends with everyone can't possibly be a good friend because how would they stand up for you. Someone who doesn't choose sides or see people for who they are couldn't possibly help you when you're dealing with problems.

I'm not at all trying to say that we shouldn't to be decent to individuals that we don't consider friends. One of my biggest pet peeves is when I hear people define how "nice" someone is by their ability to be friends with everyone. Just because I don't want to be friends with everyone doesn't mean I'm not a nice person. I love meeting new people and enjoying spending time getting to know people I don't know, but that doesn't mean I like everyone I meet. Some people are just mean and I've spent way too much of my life dealing with that kind of negativity. Other people aren't mean but rather your personalities just don't mix well together. Then some people are jealous and while they won't ever admit it, they'll be hot and cold to you no matter how hard you try to get them to like you.

What I'm trying to get at is that you should be friends with people who make you a better person, not individuals who always try to drag you down. Don't stand by someone who has never stood up for you. If they aren't trying to help you grow as a person, then they're only holding you back. Support friends who deserve it rather than people who wouldn't even dare look your way when you cry out for help. This doesn't mean that you shouldn't help people who haven't done something for you in return but don't put yourself in a position to get hurt, especially after someone has shown their real colors.

Hold onto your true friends and don't forget about them while trying to be friends with everyone else.