To the Next One,

First let me say, you are in for a ride. I want you to read this and truly decide if you want to stay. I am the kind of girl who sees the beauty in everything, but I can also point out the very dark things in life.

There are days when I can be very inspirational and want to do so many things, and then there are other days when I do not want to do a single productive thing. I hope you’ll be there on the non-productive days.

Ever since I was a kid, I always craved love and adornment, so I must warn you, I will fall for you. It's not about if, it is more about when. I will always want to please you, not as a servant, but I will try my hardest to keep a smile on your face.

I will send "good morning" texts with hearts, and I will watch movies I have never seen before, just because your eyes light up when you talk about it. I will share almost everything about myself: my hopes, my dreams, my fears, and I hope you will do the same. I know I am only 20, but I am constantly thinking of my future, so be prepared to see a lot of lists, charts, and planners.

It may be a while until you meet my family. They can be judgy and I want us to be 100% strong before you meet them. I have many secrets, as you probably have your own, and I wish we unravel each other over time. I want to be your person. That special person you go to about your work day, that jerk who cut you off on the road, all the good achievements you reached. I will be your #1 fan, and you’ll never question if I want you.

I will question you, many times.

I will overthink pretty much everything that is related to us. I am trying to get better, but I do not know if I will ever truly be there. I get anxious pretty easily, so you'll have to bear with me. I look to you as an anchor.

I have both anxiety and depression, so I will be flipping back and forth a lot of the time. I take medication all the time, and there are days when I sit in the middle of my kitchen, head in hands for hours just thinking. What am I thinking about? Life, my life, afterlife, what am I doing wrong, pretty much anything.

Do not ask me if I am okay. I will just say no, and then you'll ask how to help, but then I will not answer, and you’ll get worried. I do not want you to worry. I do not want to be a burden.

I hate going to parties. A perfect date for me is staying in and cooking for each other, or talking on the couch. I love deep conversations and hate small talk, so don’t be offended if I am not my bubbliest self when we are around your friends.

It will take a while for me to get used to them, and they might talk badly about me, but please be patient with me. You’ll see me bloom eventually.

The positives should outweigh the negatives about me. I love memes and making funny faces. I will take a bunch of photos of us. It does not mean I will post them to get attention. I just love photography.

We WILL watch Disney movies, and by the end of watching them all, you will know all the words to all the awesome songs. You might even have a favorite movie. Mine is Tangled, so you know I will be jamming to those songs. I also enjoy dancing, so be prepared to dance silly all the time.

I hope reading this letter makes you think a little more, and if you still want to be with me, then I am completely happy. Your time with me will be memorable, and whether or not we work out, you’ll have a special part in my heart.

The Patient Girl