When I was a kid, I couldn't wait to be a teenager. When I was a teenager, all I wanted to do was turn 18. Now that I'm 19 going on 20, all I want to do is be a kid again. I miss the days where I didn't have a care in the world and was always having fun. Now, I have the stress of working for three months of Summer to save up enough money for the next nine months while I'm at school.

My family used to be a lot closer when I was younger. We used to spend every holiday together and would always go on vacations during the Summer. Now everyone is always busy with something and we're lucky if we even see each other more than once every two months. Some of my family I haven't talked to or seen in years. It sucks not really having anyone that's really there for you.

Even my relationship with my friends has changed. We either can't hangout because of work or they have a boyfriend/girlfriend and spend all their time with them. I'm not close with certain people anymore and that's just the way it is. I'm grateful for the friends I've made while I've been at school because a lot of the time, they treat me better than some of my friends from Gloucester.

Relationships with a significant other suck too because you never really know how long you have with them and then one day, it's gone. The problem with people my age is when they get into a relationship they get really serious really fast. Everyone is so concerned with finding "the one" that they forget to have fun and they forget about the other people in their life and then are completely heartbroken when that relationship ends. I don't regret any of the relationships I have had, but I do wish things went differently. Being "friends" with an ex just doesn't work out because they say they want to be but then never talk to you again.

I wish someone had told me that life was going to be this way. I feel like life has been going by way too fast and lately I haven't really gotten a chance to pause and just enjoy the moment. I'd give anything to go back in time to certain moments and replay them over and over again. Too many of us take life for granted and I definitely need to stop doing that. I'm not going to dwell on people that don't want to be apart of my life and I'm certainly not going to force some one to be in my life when they clearly don't want to be.

I'm glad I'm realizing this now instead of later. Hopefully I'm saving myself some time to figure out how I want my future to look like. Growing up sucks but it happens to everyone. One day when I'm 80 years old, I hope I can look back on my life and know that I lived a good one.