Being the quiet one in groups is okay, especially if you don't want to be seen. If you don't want the attention on you, being the soft and quiet one is the role for you.
This has always been my select role, not just in groups but in public settings and with friends or family. Opening up can be tough and I have to build a level of trust before giving anything secretive away to anyone.
I've struggled with the problem of having ideas that might make a difference or have kept quiet about something that needs to be said. Instead of talking things out with people, I tend to get reserved and bottle up my problems or feelings regarding situations.
Photo by Anh Tran
The worst of this habit is when I know that things are being said about me or that I'm being judged poorly for something and still keep quiet about it. If I don't say anything then the statement still stands, and not in my favor.
I'm tired of being this person and have watched some of my friends grow into people who aren't afraid of putting themselves in the right place. I want to become that type of person. Not speaking up when I know I need to is what makes me overthink every situation and this can't keep happening. It also worsens my anxiety and makes me not want to talk to people.
If I don't stand up for myself, I look like a coward; if I'm at work, it makes me look like I don't know how to do my job. Either way, the sword falls my way and I get hurt because of it.
I've always been told to just be brave and to stand up for myself, but it's difficult to do when I have social anxiety and don't want to sound bad when I say something.
Photo by Christian Erfurt
A fear of mine is that when I go to speak up for myself, I'll say something that I might regret later. Another thing would be if I finally decided to say something and then it doesn't come out how I'd like for it to. Miscommunication is a huge deciding factor for me in deciding whether or not to say something, even when I know I want to so badly either way.
I admire those around me who can stand up for themselves, and I want the courage to do it. I lack a spine so I feel very flustered or tense when attention is on me for feedback. There's a better chance that I won't speak up or defend myself in a situation if I have all eyes on me and feel added pressure to say a certain thing.
If everyone is expecting me to say something specific, then why speak up? I want to be extraordinary and not like anyone else. I want thick skin and a stern and direct attitude when I assure myself to others. If I don't have that, I might as well stay quiet.
Don't be what others are expecting of you. Don't be the quiet and overly kind person with no mind. Be yourself around people and don't let anyone take you for granted.
Photo by Maria Krisanova