I am one of those people that never, under any circumstance, will answer my phone. Seriously, if you call me, text me, email me, even send me a letter by pigeon- I will not answer.

One, because I am deathly afraid of pigeons, and two, because I HATE responding. I don't know why. I think something's wrong with me. Like, my brain shuts down when my phone goes off.

If you are one of those people that text, "hey," we are not friends. I am not the kind of person to have a meaningless conversation. I'm a busy girl with better things to do than text "hey," "wyd" back and forth all day. Leave me alone.

Here's what I'm probably doing if I'm not texting or calling you back.

1. Netflix

Most of the time, I look at my phone when you text or call, I just don't answer. Then I go back to binge-watching "Supernatural" for the 8th time. It's more important.

2. Napping

I love napping. I take 3-4 hour long naps, so like, I'm technically in a coma for a while.

3. Just avoiding you

I'm the queen of avoidance. I learned it from my parents.

4. Being lazy

Typing words are hard. Talking is hard. Interacting is hard. Sometimes I just can't.

5. Working

Believe it or not, I actually have a job and work to do, so I may not always have my phone.

6. Playing "Candy Crush"

Yes, I am an old lady. Your phone call just interrupted my killer "Candy Crush" streak Judy and I don't have time. Sending directly to voicemail.

7. Homework

Hahahahaha.

8. Eating

This is a very important time of the day for me. I don't want to ruin my chicken nuggets with your boring conversation.

9. Having an existential crisis

A girl's gotta do what a girls gotta do.

10. Absolutely nothing

Sometimes, I just don't want to talk to you. We are constantly communicating with one another and on our phones. Sometimes it's worth it to just take a break from people.

Honestly, I would rather get a handwritten letter from people that need to contact me. And I'd probably respond to it faster too.

I'm sorry to everyone who never gets a response back from me. I promise I read it and I promise I care. I am ultimately just the worst at answering. At least now you have an idea of what I'm doing when you're listening to my voicemail.