Dear Celebrity in the jungle,

Maquinna Marine Provincial Park is a gumdrop island, rich with mangroves. Plopped in the middle of quiet Canadian ocean, a sandy beach opens into the untouched jungle, only divided by boardwalk. Rocky island deposits shelter a natural buried treasure: Ramsay Hot Springs, a sulfuric geothermic hotspot.

To get there, one must either take a helicopter — which is much more expensive — or, sail across the sound on a tiny township, which sailed only twice daily. I’d been invited to explore the Vancouver Islands by my friend Kieya’s family. I leaped from jagged rock to jagged rock and scaled felled trees like a stranded pirate. Little did I know my real adventure would be a two-minute encounter with you.

I was on the morning voyage late April 2016. To my amazement, you were already there. It wasn’t until after our encounter while sleuthing through your Instagram did I find a photo of the springs posted 28 minutes earlier, commemorating your honeymoon. Congratulations! As I meandered down the boardwalk toward the spring, two men came around the bend in the opposite direction.

It was you and your husband. I remember your brilliantly white smile. Your blonde hair was capped away, and your eyes were shielded with impenetrable sunglasses. Just two regular, nameless, almost faceless men — albeit, with expensively white teeth. We crossed paths, but not before I stopped to pet the fluffy husky rearing the corner. I was so excited to see the puppy I hardly registered your presence. Was that a relief for you? Not to be recognized? If I had recognized you, would you have appreciated being interrupted? On your honeymoon no less?

“Is this your dog?!”

Laughing, you told us “Oh no, She’s been following us for miles. I think she’s the island mascot.” She resembled a tour guide, cheerfully leading guests across the island. My heart went out to her. She was such a good girl, faithfully leading the way. Just as it must be difficult for you to meet so many people who think they know you, it must be hard for her to become friends with tourists because all of them will leave without really getting to know her.

After some aggressive petting, Kieya and I stepped back letting the two of you pass on the narrow walkway. We brushed bodies. I thought nothing of it. Just a normal, pleasant interaction between normal people. As we neared the trails end, Kieya’s brother caught up with us. Out of breath and with wild eyes he sputtered “Did you see anyone special on your way over here?!”

“Yes! Did you see that dog too?”

He tilted his head, incredulous. “No! I mean… didn’t you see those men with the sunglasses!?” Just then, we looked up to hear the whirring of a helicopter ascending. I could make out the shape of you two, free from disguise.

“Is that…?” My jaw dropped.

“Yeah! It’s Neil Patrick Harris! I talked to him on the way here. He’s here for his second honeymoon!”

My eyes bulged. Did I just touch a famous person?! As a theater person, it is my business to know the business of people like you. I couldn’t believe it: had I just missed a chance to talk to a celebrity because I was talking to a dog?! By 28 minutes I had missed the opportunity to chat with you, Neil Patrick Harris in a hot spring. It sounds like an SNL sketch.

Although our encounter still haunts me, I realize now It was probably for the best that I didn’t know who you were at the time. You hid your face and came to this particular island for a reprieve. You could’ve gone to a bustling resort in Dubai, instead, you came to a little gumdrop island. You came for peace, just as we did.

It is tiring living as a public figure, never being able to feel a part of a crowd, never able to feel normal. I’m grateful I was able to offer you that. If I had noticed who you were, I’d have ruined the tranquility you were seeking. I guess famous people are almost like regular people, only you take the helicopter over the ship.

Sincerely,

Jennet Kaya