There are many tactics and practices when it comes to successful negotiating. One of my favorites is the "Rejection-then-Retreat" technique. Let us suppose you want someone in your life to comply to a request, whether it be business related or something simple, and there is a sense of uncertainty of whether or not the person you are asking will agree to your request, studies have shown that people are very susceptible to a "Rejection-then-Retreat" tactic. It's a very simple, so much so I can recollect using this technique as a young child, you first start with a large request that will most likely be turned down and then follow it up with a smaller request.

For example, if you want a couple dollars from a friend, you can be like Goldfinger here and go big or go home.

You would then follow up with your true request of $10 or so, making the first request objectively larger and your true request a lot more likely to be complied with.

In business, it is very rare to approach any deal in such a manner. But this technique is disguised in several different ways. For example, have you ever received a call from a gym telling you that you were referred by a friend and whether or not you will be willing to buy a membership? There are multiple ploys at work here but focusing on the "RtR' technique there were two possible reasons why you received that call. Depending on how far down the call list you are your friend either signed up and referred you or they rejected the membership and upon being asked to comply with a smaller request they felt inclined to accept and referred you thus creating a possible endless stream of potential deals and referrals.

RtR can be most useful in business when it comes it comes to proposing budgets or expenses for projects. For example if at first you propose a project that could go either way studies show that if you take your desired amount and propose a budget twice as larger if that project is rejected and you come back with something a third as large and that is also rejected and you finally propose the project with your desired amount it is more likely now to be accepted due to the fact that there is now a perceived comparison making your true request seem so much smaller or cheaper thus more appealing. Additionally, you have created a good feeling of reciprocation and concession in the person ultimately making them feel like they did you a favor and like all favors can probably be cashed in later down the line.


RtR works for two major reasons on an emotional level. One you have created a sense of responsibility in the targets mind. Due to the nature of the contrast they were better able to weigh options and feel like they were the ones who had the real say in what was agreed to. Two,there is a sense in satisfaction. Just like when you find that article of clothing you wanted at a discount...the target feels that same sense of satisfaction in the sense they got a better deal.

So if you're really craving some In-n-out and you know your significant other is probably to lazy to get it for you. Ask them to take you out to a 5-star restaurant first then ask them to get you In-n-out- you're more likely to get those animal fries...or you might end up going to a 5-star restaurant..either way..It's a win-win. Thank you, psychology.