I feel like I always see or read on social media about people in need of a fresh start. And then a couple weeks later they post a photo of a new tattoo or piercing or hair style. I found myself in that same position not too long ago and consumed myself with thinking about how I could go about this so-called “fresh start”. I settled on getting weird like pink highlights in my hair which shortly faded into another weird shade of blonde. Neither the pink nor the blonde satisfied my desire to feel fresh; to have a sense of release and accomplishment.

I began to think that the worries and shadows of my discomforting past were stuck with me forever. Even though the issues that caused me so much pain were no longer a part of my life physically, I didn’t fully let them go from the mental and emotional parts of my everyday life. It took me a while to even ask myself if a fresh start was possible. So, is it?

It’s hard for us to realize that just because we conquer the initial action of getting rid of something that is holding us back, that doesn’t mean the deed is done. Whether it be releasing a person from your life or accepting a self-inflicting issue, the climb doesn’t stop there. Starting fresh is not a one-step program.

As long as it took me to begin to think about fresh starts, it took me even longer to answer the initial question. I finally came to the conclusion that yes, they are absolutely possible. But not in the way that most people perceive them. A fresh start isn’t a 15-minute movie scene in which the main character dramatically burns everything that ever reminded them why they needed to start anew in the first place. From what I’ve learned, a fresh start is about embracing.

I tried with everything in me to push the negative events of my past out of the way to start something new; I realized that pushing these memories and thoughts away--no matter how painful they may be--only makes it more difficult to move on. It must be some sort of reverse psychology, right?

While fresh starts are a completely realistic thing to achieve, they aren’t going to happen overnight. An action as simple as getting a tattoo or cutting your hair won’t give you the satisfaction you’re looking for. Little things like these can absolutely contribute to helping yourself grow and even looking at yourself from a different perspective, which is the overall goal of a fresh start (in my opinion). But, for me, in order to feel that sense of freedom from my past, I had to do more than put highlights in my hair. It took time and effort and most of all, learning to love and embrace myself as well as the things I wanted to let go of.