From the day I was born, you were there.
From the first time I got sick, you were there.
From my first day of school, you were there.
From my first heartbreak, you were there.
From the first time I cried over something I can’t even remember now, you were there.
But the most important time you were there for me was when you no longer were. The first day you let me simply be me was the single time that you were there for me the most. Rather than relying on you to make things better for me, you allowed me to follow what you had always done for me.
I am now able to support myself.
I am now able to nurse myself back to health.
I am now able to walk away from you without being scared.
I am now able to get over a stupid boy.
I am now able to wipe my own tears.
And that is all because of you. You and you alone taught me how to live without you being there – without you, I can learn to be me.
This may seem like a goodbye, but it is just the beginning. While I still need you, I still need to figure out who I am. If I wasn’t able to do so, I would easily become you. And that’s not who you told me to me. You always taught me that you would love me for me. So that’s who I am trying to be.
I want to be someone who — later on — you can eventually depend on. So one day, I can be there for you.
I want to be there for you when you need a smile on your face.
I want to there for you when you need someone to talk to.
I want to be there for you when you are feeling alone.
Most importantly, I want to be there for you to give you the love that you always gave me.
I love you more than any string of words can describe. And for every time you were there, I couldn’t imagine thanking you enough. But I love you the most for all of the times you weren’t there. For all the times you believed in me enough not to be there. And for having that confidence in me that I know will never fade.
Mom, I can’t wait until the day that I can be there for you.