Some people avoid being alone. They always have their phone on them and are constantly connected to their friends—always meeting up and hanging out. When something big happens, positive or negative, they can’t wait to share with their friends, to celebrate the good or talk through the bad.

I am the opposite.

When something good happens, I want to hold it close, to revel in that moment.

When something bad happens, I need to process it on my own before I can accept any input from others.

And sometimes, I just want to be alone just for the sake of being alone.

This doesn’t mean I don’t value the friendships I have, or that I don’t care to interact with others. It means that the person I always turn to first is me, and that sometimes I just need some peace in order to reconnect with myself. If I’m feeling off-balance, nothing will center me better than being alone at home, TV off, in quiet solitude. If I can be creating something in that silence, even better. Putting words on a page, paint on a canvas, or assembling some framed quotes for my Etsy shop are ways I love to spend an afternoon. I can become totally lost in projects like these, and somehow, during the days when that happens, I find myself. Everything becomes clear and calm in my mind.

Getting outside or curling up in a chair can be just as satisfying. Even though it may not look like I’m doing anything when I’m sitting on the beach at the lake, or stretched out on a blanket in the grass in the sunshine, these moments are crucial to who I am as a person. These calm respites give me time to think through where my life is, what my goals and focuses are, and give me a chance to find inspiration for my creative endeavors.

After a busy day out in the world, even just at work, I’m ready for some time alone. Going from a busy day to a busy home to meeting up with friends... I’m exhausted just thinking about it. I wouldn’t function well in a life like that. I treasure my quiet home, and especially my sanctuary of a little studio that I have all to myself. These times that some would consider to be boring are the foundation of who I am.

Next time you have a friend that cancels plans for no real reason or you know someone is going through a hard time but they seem to be withdrawn about it, don’t take it personally. Us introverts need to deal with ourselves first, before we can involve anyone else in our lives. If we don’t we become scattered, distracted, unhappy. Just let them know that you’re there and you care, and that you’re ready to get together whenever they’re ready. Like I said before, I cherish the friendships I have. I enjoy going out or hanging out with other people—but in certain doses, and always followed by peace and quiet, alone in my house with my cat, my books, and my cozy work space.