I have an amazing husband. One thing that my husband does well is he listens to me. I can share anything with him and he listens and understands and lets me be myself. I can explore what I believe, and even if he doesn’t agree, he doesn’t try to change me or tell me I’m wrong.

Over the four and a half years we have known each other I have been through a lot, my beliefs have grown and changed. Sometimes I feared to tell Allen what I thought, thinking that he wouldn’t understand or that he would judge me for it. It turns out those fears were wrong because every time I have shared my thoughts and feelings he has been more than understanding. I can be completely myself and it does not change our relationship and how we feel about each other.

I have learned through my relationship with Allen that people change, they experience things that will change their beliefs and for your relationship to last you have to love them fully even as they change and grow. For Allen and I, loving each other has looked like not trying to change the other person or correct them for their beliefs. It looks like being yourself no matter what and accepting and loving each other no matter what.

It is still not always easy to share how I feel. I got so used to holding it back, expecting people to see me differently and not accept or love me if I changed. Our relationship is deeper than mere beliefs though, and that is what is necessary to make it last. I love that I can say to Allen that I don’t know what the hell I believe.

I can break down and cry with him and be weak, and that’s okay too. He holds me and says I’m beautiful and loves me anyway and that means the world to me. It is still hard to believe that someone could love me that much, but it is true, and I love that I have that safe place where I can be myself no matter how it looks.

I think we all need someone who accepts and loves us completely as we are, who does not change their love for us based on whether we change or not. Real love does not try to change someone to make them more lovable; it loves them in all of their complexity and messiness.

It may take years to find that person that you can be completely yourself with but find that person. We all need someone who loves us that much. You deserve to be loved for you. You deserve to be with someone who will listen to your thoughts, your fears, your discoveries, no matter how bizarre they may be.

I had always wanted a best friend, someone I could be completely myself with and I had good friends, people I was close with but they all came and went. Allen is the best friend I always wanted, who is always there for me, who supports me 100% and cheers me on. I am glad we found each other, and I think everyone should have a best friend like that.