Friendship Fails

Narcissists will never change And These Are 4 Lessons I learned After Being Friends With one

Every person who has left my life always seems to teach me the best lessons.

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One of the most toxic relationships I've had was with someone I knew from high school. She took advantage of me any way she could and because of how naive and kind-hearted I was, our friendship lasted longer than it should have. After I had decided to cut her out of my life, I went into deep thought about why I had continued with letting her mistreat me the way she did.

Here are a few things this experience taught me.

1. They never cared.

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This may sound redundant but I have to say this to emphasize one thing about narcissist: THEY DON'T GIVE A CRAP ABOUT WHAT THEY DO. I use to think that if I let this person stay in my life she would change, but I had to learn it wouldn't matter. According to my years of psychology courses, a person who is considered a narcissist lacks empathy and compassion for anybody.

If you ever meet a narcissist, your best bet is to turn the other direction and walk away, no matter how sorry you feel for them at the time.

2. They're gonna' make you feel good.

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This is something that everyone who feels like they are dealing with a narcissist should be aware of. Typically a narcissist will make you feel good as a way to get what they want. This can come in forms of compliments and promises. They will do whatever to convince you that they are not the bad guy and make you feel as if you are just overreacting towards their behaviors, especially if they had done anything to hurt you before.

3. They will definitely make you feel bad.

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A narcissist may make you feel good, but they will also switch up and make you feel like you are the lowest person on earth. They will do this when you express your feelings towards them and their behaviors. This also includes bringing up promises they may have made to you or that they will refuse to do.

In other words, they are selfish and would do anything in their power to make sure they don't give you the same respect that you gave them or feel any empathy towards you.

4. They will never change.

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No matter how many chances you give them they will never change. Unfortunately, narcissism is a personality disorder that is hard to correct and nine times out of ten it will be a personality that a person can live with for the rest of their lives.

For anyone out there who had dealt with a narcissistic person, just know that their actions do not define you and who you are. It took me a while to realize that it wasn't me but it was them. I had to teach myself to love myself and that no matter what they may have tried to bring me down out of their own selfishness, I am not who they tried to make me out to be.

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An Open Letter To My Unexpected Best Friend

You came out of nowhere and changed my life for the better.
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“It's so amazing when someone comes to your life and you expect nothing out of it, but suddenly, there right in front of you is everything you ever need."

-Unknown

Dear Unexpected Best Friend,

You were the person I never thought I would speak to and now you are my very best friend. You came out of nowhere and changed my life for the better. I can't thank you enough for everything you have done to shape me into the person I am today. You've taught me what it means to be selfless, caring, patient, and, more importantly, adventurous.

You don't realize how much better my life has become and all because you came out of nowhere. I didn't see you coming. I just saw you on occasion, and now I can't see my life without you in it. It's funny how life works itself out like that. Our unexpected friendship filled a hole in my life that I didn't know existed.

I don't even remember what life was like before you came along; it most likely had a lot less laughter and spontaneity than it does today. I can call you about anything and you would drop whatever you're doing to help me in any situation. You know when I need encouragement. You know when I am at my best and when I am at my worst. You always know exactly what to say.

SEE ALSO: 8 Tiny Lies Every Young Woman Has Told Their Best Friend

I couldn't have found a better friend than you if I tried. We balance each other out in the best way possible. You are most definitely the yin to my yang, and I don't care how cliché that sounds. Because of you, I've learned to stop caring what people think and to do my own thing regardless of any backlash I might receive. You are my very favorite part of what makes me who I am to this day.

It's as if I wished up a best friend, and poof — you appeared right in front of me. I am so beyond blessed to have you and I wouldn't trade the world for all our memories. Thanks for coming out of nowhere.

Love you forever and a day.

Cover Image Credit: Lauren Medders

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An Open Letter To The Friend Who Continues To Save My Life

No one knows me like you do.

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From the day we became friends, we have always had nothing but support for one another. Although we have only really been friends for about seven years now, I feel as if you have always been a part of my life. You know me just as well as you know yourself, and I understand you in the same way I understand my own thoughts and feelings.

You have never made me feel pressured, insecure, or unappreciated. The mutual respect we have for one another is unmatched. We can talk to each other about anything; from some of the most trivial topics to entire life philosophies. We have grown and matured together, and I couldn't be more proud of the person you are today.

We don't always agree on everything, and I always appreciate your fresh point of view, but I have never felt more in sync with another person than I do with you. We share the same birth month, the same age, the same home town, the same anxieties, and many of the same attitudes and values.

I feel as if you know exactly when I want to be alone and when I need company. Since we are both introverted, we understand that the other person needs time to recharge. And when I'm sitting alone with nothing to do, I always get a text from you asking to hang out.

In some of my loneliest, most vulnerable moments, you have been there. When I question how many true friends I really have, you are always sure to make your love for me known.

Through high school, and now college, we have experienced so many life-changing events together. Some that have taught us extremely valuable lessons, and others that have shown us incredible pain and how to grow from our lowest moments.

I want to thank you for showing me what life-long friendship looks like. Thank you for always understanding me and never putting too much pressure on me. I see an incredible future for both of us no matter where each of our lives takes us.

We will always share a unique connection that cannot be separated by any distance. But, for now, I'm glad you're only one text or phone call away.

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