Friendship Fails

Narcissists will never change And These Are 4 Lessons I learned After Being Friends With one

Every person who has left my life always seems to teach me the best lessons.

396
views

One of the most toxic relationships I've had was with someone I knew from high school. She took advantage of me any way she could and because of how naive and kind-hearted I was, our friendship lasted longer than it should have. After I had decided to cut her out of my life, I went into deep thought about why I had continued with letting her mistreat me the way she did.

Here are a few things this experience taught me.

1. They never cared.

c1.staticflickr.com

This may sound redundant but I have to say this to emphasize one thing about narcissist: THEY DON'T GIVE A CRAP ABOUT WHAT THEY DO. I use to think that if I let this person stay in my life she would change, but I had to learn it wouldn't matter. According to my years of psychology courses, a person who is considered a narcissist lacks empathy and compassion for anybody.

If you ever meet a narcissist, your best bet is to turn the other direction and walk away, no matter how sorry you feel for them at the time.

2. They're gonna' make you feel good.

c1.staticflickr.com

This is something that everyone who feels like they are dealing with a narcissist should be aware of. Typically a narcissist will make you feel good as a way to get what they want. This can come in forms of compliments and promises. They will do whatever to convince you that they are not the bad guy and make you feel as if you are just overreacting towards their behaviors, especially if they had done anything to hurt you before.

3. They will definitely make you feel bad.

orig00.deviantart.net

A narcissist may make you feel good, but they will also switch up and make you feel like you are the lowest person on earth. They will do this when you express your feelings towards them and their behaviors. This also includes bringing up promises they may have made to you or that they will refuse to do.

In other words, they are selfish and would do anything in their power to make sure they don't give you the same respect that you gave them or feel any empathy towards you.

4. They will never change.

Odyssey

No matter how many chances you give them they will never change. Unfortunately, narcissism is a personality disorder that is hard to correct and nine times out of ten it will be a personality that a person can live with for the rest of their lives.

For anyone out there who had dealt with a narcissistic person, just know that their actions do not define you and who you are. It took me a while to realize that it wasn't me but it was them. I had to teach myself to love myself and that no matter what they may have tried to bring me down out of their own selfishness, I am not who they tried to make me out to be.

Popular Right Now

To My Best Friend Who Taught Me What True Friendship Is, I Can't Thank You Enough

"To the person who will love you endlessly, love her with kindness and understanding."
300125
views

Dear Best Friend,

You have been a part of my life for quite some time now. You have seen my good, bad, and ugly sides and have stuck by my side through it all. I don't know if I could ever find the words to truly thank you for everything your friendship has given me, but I am definitely going to try.

Our lives have taken some twist and turn these past few years, but we have stayed strong through it all.

Thank you for judging me just the right amount.

Throughout our friendship, I have made some very questionable decisions. A lot of people would say "thanks for never judging me," but I feel like everyone needs a best friend who's going to tell them how it is, to tell them when they are about to make a bad decision or how to avoid something worse from happening. You have always told me how it is (even when I don't always want to hear it), but I know that I can come to you whenever I need someone to set me straight.

You're always down to do nothing with me.

I think that you are the one person that I can call up to hang out and do absolutely nothing with and have a good time. From the nights sitting in and playing card games to ordering Chinese food and watching an entire Netflix series while I dance around with the cat: I know that we could do anything, and nothing together and it would be fun.

But also, you're always down to get lit with me.

I swear one day we will be two old moms at a bar drinking vodka crans and laughing about the stupid shit our husbands and children do. You're always down to go out and have a good time. Even if everyone else we're with is miserable, we find a way to laugh at ourselves.

You are one of the few constant things in my life.

I've lost a lot of friends in my life, but you have stayed by my side through everything. I can't remember the last time we actually fought about anything, but even when we do we can't stay mad at each other for more than a day. I know we will be in each other's lives until we literally keel over.

I want you yo know that you're the strongest person I know.

You've dealt with things that not many people go through ever in their life. You have always been so mature, and you handle everything with grace. You inspire me every day with your goals and successes and I am so proud of you and all of your accomplishments.

Above all else, you deserve the world.

It's so easy to get caught up in your own mind and think that you deserve the things that happen to you, but please know that the only thing you deserve is happiness. Please settle for nothing short of that. It may take a bit to find your happiness, but I will be there every step of the way. You're a remarkable human being, and I want nothing but the best for you.

To the person who will hold your heart someday, please do not break it. To the person who may wrong you, you will regret it forever. To the person who will love you endlessly, love her with kindness and understanding.

You, my best friend, future bridesmaid, godmother of my children, the person to bail me out of jail, the one who lets me cry on their couch for twelve hours,

I love you.

I will cherish our friendship forever. Thank you for being you.

Love always,

Your best friend.

Cover Image Credit: Adriana Ranieri

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

Being The Last Friend To Turn 21 Isn't ALL Bad

All your friends have turned 21, but that is okay

Cassidy
Cassidy
1164
views

You may think being the last one out of your friend group to turn twenty-one is the worst thing in the world, but in all honesty, it doesn't have to be. One of the biggest perks is that everyone of your friends can go out to the bars with you on your birthday. All the people who turn twenty-one first have to wait for people to be able to go out with them, but you get to celebrate your birthday with all of your friends.

Another huge reason you should feel okay with being last to turn twenty-one is thinking about all the money you are saving. The bars are expensive. When you don't go to the bars you are saving so much money because an average bar drink is about seven dollars. This being said seven dollars multiple times a night, multiple nights a week really adds up, so you are going to have to budget your money better.

You don't have to be the one to buy alcohol for everyone else. Having a ton of people ask you to buy them alcohol must get annoying at a point, and if you're the youngest out of your friends, no one will be asking you to do liquor store runs for them because they can all go already for themselves.

The biggest reason is that you can enjoy being young. You should still continue to enjoy going to house parties and just being able to hang out with friends without having to go to the bars. Spend these months before you turn twenty-one just being able to enjoy life without feeling obligated to go out to the bars all the time. You have a great excuse when you don't want to drink on a weekday to just stay in. This being said it will be your turn to turn twenty-one soon.

Cassidy
Cassidy

Related Content

Facebook Comments