Day 4.
Two girls sitting on a couch. Snow falling heavily on the porch. One singing snow, snow go away and the other clicking the remote.
Kim
We have to go out. It’s been three days since we’ve been sitting on this couch watching Netflix.
Nina
Browsing Netflix you mean.
Kim
Whatever. Three days since we’ve been inside.
Nina
Today is Saturday. It’s our in-house movie day anyway. I don’t see why you’re complaining?
Pick a movie!
Kim
That’s when we’ve been outside the rest of the week and want to have a silent day in. But that has not been the case this week, has it? We’ve been…
Nina
Ooh! How about Bachelorette? Looks good enough to trash and make a drinking game out of it like whenever one of the girls bitches about the other, we take a shot. What do you say?
Kim
(rolls her eyes, raising her voice)
We’ve been cooped up and been inside this house for too long. Let’s just go out and have a drink. I’ll call Sam to join us, and we can have dinner.
Nina
Ooh yes, call Sam. Maybe he’ll want to drink to some bitchy girls. I mean after the weeks he’s had with Casey and Mary and that other girl (snaps her fingers), what’s her name? Tall, blonde, white, in joggers all the time. God, why am I blanking on her name? Kim, what’s her name?
Kim
Not telling you. Not telling you until you get out off that couch and start getting dressed.
Nina
You don’t know, do you? I’ll call Sam myself.
Kim
(snatching the remote from Nina’s hand)
Its Gertrude and now go!
Nina
(Not moving)
God! Who names their child Gertrude? It’s like her parents wanted her to evoke havoc wherever she goes, you know like Grrr! I’m Gertrude, I’m going to destroy you.
Kim
She named herself that.
Nina
(In a disbelieving tone)
No! What?
Kim
Yeah. Her name was Nancy. She felt it didn’t suit her personality like it didn’t have an edge and hence she gave herself that name.
Nina
And of course, Sam found that and hence her intriguing and got entangled in her web of havoc and drove him off the edge. Jesus Christ! He really needs us…
Kim
Yes. Once you lift your ass and start getting dressed. Cheesy nachos and mojitos are what will help him. Will help all of us. Now please can you…
Nina
Why don’t you get dressed? I’ll go after you, I promise.
Kim
(looks at her disbelievingly)
Fine! But once I’m done, no more excuses.
Nina
Distractions you mean.
Kim
(trailing off)
Whatever. I don’t want to see you on the couc…
(shuts the bedroom door behind her)
[Nina puts some music. Plops herself on the couch and lies down looking into her phone. She then jumps out and bangs on the bedroom door]
Nina
Kim. Come on, come on, hurry up.
Kim
(through the bedroom door)
Wow! Really? Now you decide to hurry.
Nina
I’m serious. We have to go. Let me in at least, I’ll grab my clothes and…
Kim
(opens the door, Nina barges in)
Okay, you’re finally up and literally running and so I’m not going to ruin it by asking you if you’ve gone crazy all of a sudden.
Nina
(as she picks her clothes off the hanger)
Look at my phone. Just read what I read. Then you’ll know who’s crazy
Kim
(reading her phone)
Wow! Okay. So this is bad, I agree. But what can we do about it? It’s his life. If he’s chosen to be with…
Nina
(Cuts her off)
Don’t say. Don’t say it out loud. It will make it all the more real.
Kim
You’re really over-reacting.
Nina
Right. Over-reacting. When we have to pick him off the floor and pump him with fake self-esteem when this ends, then let me see you telling that this is not our problem.
Kim
Wow! Okay. You really need that mojito.
(then laughs incessantly)
Nina
Now, what’s wrong with you?
Kim
I like Gertrude.
Nina
Okay. Now you’ve gone off your rails.
Kim
I want to thank her personally.
Nina
Are you trying to infuriate me? ‘Cause it’s working you know.
Kim
Hey! Three days you’ve been on that couch, but she finally did what I was failing miserably at. To get you to go out!
(continues laughing)
Nina
(looks at her in aghast)
I don’t even know where to start. This is not about me. Not about us. This is about Sam and how he might kill himself and how we are responsible for making sure that that doesn’t happen.
Kim
So looks like it’s just going to be the two of us at Locos. I’m texting Jesse to see if he wants to join. I’m so happy right now.
Nina
Selfish. Selfish is what you are. How can you not care that he’s on a destructive path again? Or care at least that we have to babysit him for weeks, day and night to get him back on his feet. Could you care that we have to do that? Huh?
Kim
He’s a grown man. He can make his own choices. You need to stop babying him and being his safety nest, waiting to catch him and nurse him back to health. Maybe then he’ll stop with the poor choices.
Nina
But he doesn’t get poor choices, does he? All his choices are poor in that case. It’s a deeper problem.
Kim
Exactly. And that is why shrinks are highly paid to tell people to shut their crap lives, take a deep look at it, rewind and then hit play.
Nina
You mean to start all over again.
Kim
Yes. Whatever. Okay, I look pretty. Let me just grab a scarf while you finally change.
[The doorbell rings]
Nina
Wow! Jesse is annoyingly punctual as usual. Doesn’t he get that 6 means 7? Jesus!
Kim
Wait. Did I tell him to meet us at our place? Oh well! With all your yammering I don’t even know what I texted him and the poor thing came all the way over in the snow.
[The doorbell continues to ring]
Nina
Are you going to get that?
Kim
[Gets out of the room, yelling]
Coming. Coming. We heard you already.
[The doorbell continues to ring]
[Now Nina follows Kim to open the door]
Kim
Nina! Get back in there.
[Kim opens the door. Sam comes bursting in with bags in his hand]
Sam
She’s a b****. She’s a horrible, horrible person.
Kim looks at him incredulously and Nina bursts out laughing.
Sam
What? Say something.
Nina
Okay. Why are you here?
Sam
She broke up with me. Gertrude is a b****.
Kim
Damn it!
Nina
[continues laughing]
Sam
I just want to watch a trashy movie and I brought nachos and alcohol. Let’s party.
Nina
I love it!
Kim
I give up. I miss Gertrude.
Sam
What was that?
Kim
Nothing. We’re here for you as usual.
Looks at Nina and shakes her head in exasperation while she removes her scarf.
THE END