I have grown up watching "Say Yes to the Dress" and fawning over my something old and something new, all the while racking up dozens of pictures of what my big day might look like. I have a Pinterest board called someday that has hundreds of pins all under one category — Weddings. I realize this seems a bit excessive, but hey a girl can dream. I have this idea in my head of what I want my wedding to look like. and for when that day has come and gone, I have a board titled "life" and it shows adorable aesthetically pleasing pictures of families and little children and husbands and wives dancing in the kitchen. I can't wait for the Sunday afternoons when my husband will be out mowing the lawn, and I will be preparing our family dinner, while my children are off entertaining themselves, their laughter filling our home.
Because of the way I was raised, I have a strong view of what it means to have a husband protect his wife, and a wife, love her husband. My father travels weekly for his job, as a means to care for us as a family, but that’s not to say my mother hasn’t worked just as hard, in her own ways. My mom is a teacher, who is passionate about raising kids with manners and with a desire to respect others. She raises kids right and has instilled that in her students and in her children. At home, she cared for us girls, and she loved my dad.
When someone says "feminist," the last thing that would come to mind would likely be a housewife who does all the cooking and housekeeping, who makes dinner from scratch and puts in a solid effort to look pretty for her husband every day when he comes home from work, no matter what her day was like.
For those of you who are reading this and are already tempted to click out of it because you disagree, or are shaking your head in disapproval, hear me out.
I am 100 percent awaiting the day when we have our first woman president, I get so excited when I hear about women making the news and making a difference in the world, and I am supportive of equal rights and equal pay.
But there is a difference between equality in rights and equality in the way we raise our kids.
I am all for celebrating the beauty, grace, intellect, and strength of women. But when feminism turns into this nasty, in your face, demand for power, sheer independence, and disrespect of men solely due to the fact that we are female, I turn away. Shouldn't true feminism empower women to be who they want to be?
I picture it like this— my husband one day will support myself and our kids, and I will help, no doubt. I also hope that he will have a soft spot in his heart for his little girl and that he will love her unconditionally. I hope that he is chivalrous, I hope that his parents taught him how to respect women, and how to love his wife, how to love his children, and how to protect his family. I hope that he has his passions, and he knows how to have fun. There is nothing wrong with me wanting a husband that will act as a protector and a leader in my family. This belief of mine is rooted in Ephesians 5:25-28 where it is stated,
"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself."
As for myself, I strive to be independent, I strive to be empowered, passionate, unique, grateful, classy, respectful, and creative. I am working to change the world, but I will do it with poise, and I see no problem with the term ladylike. Class doesn’t mean I cannot have sass. I hope to be the best mother, as being a mother is no easy feat. It means being given the responsibility to raise, rear and revere a child to be mannerly, respectful, successful, and full of fun. Since the dawn of time women have served a purpose in both the household and the community as caretakers, and I don't know why that has to change. None of these things mean that I see myself as less than or unqualified to men. None of these things say that I am a submissive, hushed, or meek woman in the world.
Women are nurturing, it is in their nature. How could it not be after carrying a baby for nine months? It is okay to want to be a stay at home mother, and it is most definitely okay to want your boyfriend to ask your father’s blessing before proposing to you. It is okay if you want to be the loving wife who cooks dinner and does the laundry, it doesn’t make you weak to want to be good at your job.
Sometimes men like to mow, and women like to cook— If your feminism doesn't include the right for a woman to choose to live traditionally, it's not really feminism.