I absolutely love going to a Christian college. There were many factors that made me decide to attend a Christian college. The parties would be very slim and difficult to find (I haven't found or heard of one yet), the people are all around just nicer and more welcoming, and I am able to, and even encouraged to share my faith and speak openly about my faith on a daily basis. I thought a Christian college would be a great way to dive deeper into my faith, which it has been, but I didn't realize the struggle that I would face with this being so prevalent.

In my high school, there was decent sized number of students who were proclaimed Christians, which is awesome! But there's also an even greater sized number who aren't Christians, or who don't proclaim their faith. With this being said, I always felt school was a good place to be able to not only share my faith, but simply act like a Christian through love, forgiveness, and even temperament. People looked at me and respected me for being a Christian and I actually could feel myself making a difference in my community and I felt like I had in purpose in faith.

Being at Messiah sort of changed that. Since pretty much everyone there is a self proclaimed Christian and is already living a life full of faith (or seems to be), I felt my job had changed. Since we are required to attend a certain number of chapel services per semester and there are so many Bible study options available, I felt myself becoming a lazy Christian. I no longer felt the need to spend one on one time with God because my classes start out with prayer, etc. Essentially, I felt God was just something else I could check off of my to-do list.

I also experienced the challenge of feeling the need to compete with other Christians. I wanted to be looked upon as the person everyone wanted to be like. But this past week I realized the huge mistakes I was making in my walk with Christ. I was living my faith out for all of the wrong reasons! I was trying to act like a good and glorious Christian for my benefit when all of the glory should be on God! I was acting like a Pharisee! I should want to tell people about God because of how amazing God is, not because of the glory it gives me as a person.

I also realized that just because everyone around me seemed to have it all together didn't mean they really did. Christians need help too! God placed me in a Christian college so I would be surrounded by like-minded people and we could support each other and encourage each other through faith, not compare ourselves to each other.

This realization has taught me so many incredible things about faith and through spending one on one time with God again, He was able to reveal to me what I needed to change in my life to keep from feeling empty and far away from Him. I will never be a perfect Christian. There is no such thing as a perfect Christian. But through each experience, God is able to help me become one step closer to this heavenly goal if only I open my heart to Him.

"For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever. Amen." -Romans 11:36