My Relationship Doesn't Define Me
Start writing a post
Politics and Activism

My Relationship Doesn't Define Me

My life, my priorities.

My Relationship Doesn't Define Me

When I started dating my boyfriend my freshman year of college, I remember one of my single friends being completely flabbergasted at my decision to date. Throughout my friendship with her, she would continually bring up how my love life conflicted with my academic and career goals. It wasn't until I "broke up" with her did I pinpoint what bothered me the most about her comments.

For one, she was trying to decide my priorities for me and for two, she assumed that I couldn't date and be personally successful. As if my boyfriend was a sign that I left my ambition behind, which he is anything but.

If I'm being completely honest, it still blows my mind that in 2016, a woman's decisions in her love life seemingly dictate how she's perceived. Many people, from my grandparents' friends to random customers at work, assume that because I have a steady boyfriend, I'm planning on getting married and having children. I understand that there are girls who have that plan, and that's great.

But why the automatic assumption based on my relationship?

Furthermore, it also bothers me that, when I was single, most people would "console" me with that I'm "focusing on my career and education." When did a woman's education become a consolation prize for not being in a relationship? I could easily bring up the fact that that mindset seems straight out of the 20th century, but that doesn't explain why it is still around when we've supposedly progressed.

I hesitate to call it sexism, but the term could be applied. For instance, no one (to my knowledge) has asked my boyfriend "What about your career?!" when they find out he's dating me. No one has told him that his education was just a way to bide his time until marriage.

At this point, I'm rehashing old points that have been pointed out by women time and again. But why does it have to be said again? Why is it radical for a woman to have to say "I deserve equal treatment and consideration. I shouldn't be defined by my relationship."?

No one deserves to have assumptions drawn about them for any reason. No one deserves to be judged or to have other people assume that they know better about the situation. That being said, anyone who identifies as a woman does not deserve to have her priorities assumed based on her relationship status.

My success is not based on my choice of a boyfriend. I define my own success, be it with or without a boyfriend. Don't treat a woman's relationship like a lifetime achievement more important than her career or education unless you plan to treat a man's relationship and career the same way.

Yes, my boyfriend is one of the best things that ever happened to me, and yes, I do hope to stay with him for the rest of my life. But my relationship with him does not overshadow my talents or goals.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
cool group of lazy college students in class

There are thousands of universities around the world, and each school boasts its own traditions and slogans. Some schools pride themselves on sports, while others emphasize their research facilities. While there is a myriad of differences among each and every school, there will always these seven types of students in class.

Keep Reading...Show less
woman in white tank top and orange jacket holding a bible
Photo by Joel Muniz on Unsplash

Life is hard. There is no surprise there. It’s confusing and scary and hectic, but there are some amazing qualities, too. Sometimes you feel alone and don’t know what to do. School gets in the way of what you want to do or you’re dropping friends you thought you trusted. Everyone has their moments. Everyone has felt in the lowest place and couldn’t find the strength to get back up. But I want to help with that. Here are 10 Bible verses I hope will brighten your day, or at least make you feel stronger and happier.

Keep Reading...Show less
Buddy The Elf Attacked by Raccoon

Finals, the time we all dread. Amidst trying to juggle a social life, lack of sleep, exams, essays, and classes, it can be more than overwhelming to juggle this crazy season of life. Thankfully, Elf gets it. Here's 15 feels of finals week before winter break, as told by Buddy the Elf:

Keep Reading...Show less

10 Pros And Cons Of Autumn

Navigating the Season's Upsides and Downsides

concrete road among autumn forest with bright orange leaves

Personally, Autumn is one of my favorite seasons. The air is crisp but not too cold, there is so much to do, and you're not collapsing from the heat. I asked some friends and family what their favorite and least favorite parts of Fall. Below is the list I put together:

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

10 Reasons Why The Arts Are Important In Our Lives

The arts have helped me a lot, they will help millions of other people, too.

Two person standing on gray tile paving that says 'Passion Led Us Here' written.
Photo by Ian Schneider on Unsplash

I have always heard sayings like "Why study art? Why not Engineering, Science or Commerce?", "Art won't get you anywhere," "Art is useless," "You won't get a proper job" etc. I have also heard of situations of the school board planning to cut arts in schools, thinking that students won't do well in their education. Well, you know what, you all are wrong! Arts make a huge impact on our lives! Here are the reasons why art is Important.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments