My Quiet Rebellion From Myself

My Quiet Rebellion From Myself

I'm not some badass, I'm just ... me

I just couldn't stand it anymore.

I couldn't stand trying to conform to societal norms.

I couldn't stand withdrawing from opportunities out of fear.

I couldn't stand my lack of expression to avoid judgment.

And most of all

I couldn't stand living within this body as I felt my soul drifting farther and farther away from who I really am.

The words "rebel," "rebellion" and "rebellious" usually come with negative connotations. They are seen as a teen sneaking out of his or her house late at night, disrespecting his or her parents, or getting involved with drugs and alcohol far too early. However, I am here to change the connotations of these words, to prove that I, too, am a rebel living within my rebellious phase of rebellion.

I am not sneaking out of my house, disrespecting my parents, or trying hard drugs and putting my life at risk. What I am doing is putting everything I once knew on the line in order to better myself and the outcome of my life.

I am dropping all societal norms.

I am delving into opportunities and telling my fear to hit the high road.

I'm expressing myself and welcoming judgment.

And most of all

I am learning to live in this body while embracing the soul of my true being.

Growing up, I always said I wouldn't get a tattoo. I wouldn't get a tattoo because it would hurt, because people might look, because people might talk.

Society said no.

My fear said no.

The avoidance of judgment said no.

Growing up, I was wrong. I desperately wanted a tattoo, to express myself, to have meaning marked on my skin forever.

And so, I quietly rebelled.

I got that tattoo. I got that meaning marked on my skin with a middle finger to society, fear, and judgment.

Growing up, I always said I wouldn't fly alone. I wouldn't fly alone because I was afraid of heights, because I was afraid of getting lost, because I was afraid of all of the possible, "what if's."

My fear said hell to the no.

But, I quietly rebelled.

Growing up, I didn't know what I was missing. Flying, traveling, alone has had such a profound impact on my life, giving me a sense of independence that I would have never found elsewhere.

I got on that plane, I flew to new places, and I kissed that shackling fear goodbye.

I just couldn't stand it anymore.

I couldn't stand trying to conform to societal norms.

I couldn't stand withdrawing from opportunities out of fear.

I couldn't stand my lack of expression to avoid judgment.

And most of all

I couldn't stand living within this body as I felt my soul drifting farther and farther away from who I really am.

So, I quietly rebelled

And being a rebel has been the best decision of my life.

Cover Image Credit: Jenna Rutkey

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3 Reasons Why Step Dads Are Super Dads


I often hear a lot of people complaining about their step-parents and wondering why they think that they have any authority over them. Although I know that everyone has different situations, I will be the first to admit that I am beyond blessed to have a step dad. Yep, I said it. My life wouldn't be the same that it is not without him in it. Let me tell you why I think step dads are the greatest things since sliced bread.

1. They will do anything for you, literally.

My stepdad has done any and every thing for me. From when I was little until now. He was and still is my go-to. If I was hungry, he would get me food. If something was broken, he would fix it. If I wanted something, he would normally always find a way to get it. He didn't spoil me (just sometimes), but he would make sure that I was always taken care of.

SEE ALSO: The Thank You That Step-Parents Deserve

2. Life lessons.

Yup, the tough one. My stepdad has taught me things that I would have never figured out on my own. He has stood beside me through every mistake. He has been there to pick me up when I am down. My stepdad is like the book of knowledge: crazy hormonal teenage edition. Boy problems? He would probably make me feel better. He just always seemed to know what to say. I think that the most important lesson that I have learned from my stepdad is: to never give up. My stepdad has been through three cycles of leukemia. He is now in remission, yay!! But, I never heard him complain. I never heard him worry and I never saw him feeling sorry for himself. Through you, I found strength.

3. He loved me as his own.

The big one, the one that may seem impossible to some step parents. My stepdad is not actually my stepdad, but rather my dad. I will never have enough words to explain how grateful I am for this man, which is why I am attempting to write this right now. It takes a special kind of human to love another as if they are their own. There had never been times where I didn't think that my dad wouldn't be there for me. It was like I always knew he would be. He introduces me as his daughter, and he is my dad. I wouldn't have it any other way. You were able to show me what family is.

So, dad... thanks. Thanks for being you. Thanks for being awesome. Thanks for being strong. Thanks for loving me. Thanks for loving my mom. Thanks for giving me a wonderful little sister. Thanks for being someone that I can count on. Thanks for being my dad.

I love you!

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To The Big-Hearted Girls Who Just Can't Hit The Block Button

Your compassion for others knows no bounds, and that's why you can't seem to let them go.


Not everyone is worthy of your good heart.

It might be hard to accept that, but it's true. The ones that don't deserve your attention and your care always out themselves. Maybe they take advantage of your kindness, maybe they use you for your love, or maybe they hurt you because they envy some aspect of you or your life. Whatever the case may be, I know you feel the pain from it. I know you are not naive enough to believe that they don't mean the hurtful things they say or that the awful things they put you through are only mere accidents.

Your problem is that you have too big of a heart. You love giving second chances and when they screw that chance up as well, you just can't help yourself from giving them a third, a fourth, or a fifth. Far too easily you are swept up in this cycle of forgiving and forgetting, only to have it blow up in your face time and time again.

You know better.

How many times have you sworn you wouldn't help them again, that it was the last time you'd speak to them, only to snatch up your phone the second you see their name pop up across the screen? How often have you cried over someone who only wanted to be a part of your life when they needed something from you?

Stop giving your all to people that don't care.

Trust me, I know it's easier said than done. It's a difficult habit to break, but once you do you are completely and utterly free from the toxicity. If you're looking for a sign to block that boy who has done nothing but break your heart, or if you were waiting for your cue to finally end that friendship that does nothing but make you feel small, here it is.

Unfortunately, not everyone is going to treat you with the love and respect that you so freely give. Most of the time the people that treat you like crap are just crappy people. It's not your responsibility to save every troubled soul, and you've probably learned by now that not all of them want to be saved.

There's nothing wrong with looking for the good in people, but when they start to drain you of your light you need to have the strength to let them go.

To the girls gifted with hearts too sensitive and ready to burst with compassion, it's OK to cut ties with those who hurt you time and time again. It doesn't mean you've stooped to their level; it doesn't mean you're a bad person. You tried your hardest, but toxic people rarely change their ways. You don't deserve that kind of pain.

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