I Have A Few Problems With Dating In 2017

I Have A Few Problems With Dating In 2017

I mean is it just me or...?
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Is it just me or is dating as a Millennial difficult? Maybe I'm the only one that feels this way or maybe I just keep meeting the same kind of guy which if that's the case then you can just say “Oh that Melissa, she's just single… what's new?". But if I'm not alone and I'm telling the truth then all of us should gather for a pizza party where we fix dating… (I'm not being serious… there's no way this is happening but I do want pizza now) But seriously with all these dating apps filled with selfies and one-liners in place of actual information about a person, dating has kind of become like scrolling through a catalog and picking out a person. You could vibe really well with the person or it could be an epic fail. And when it does, people just go back to shopping.

Do Guys Know What A Date Is?

I don't wanna hang out with you on your couch and watch movies. If we're not in an established relationship or even at least friends, basically if I don't know you enough/aren't comfortable enough I'm not coming to your house. And no that doesn't make me shy or a prude it means I watch the news and am being safe. It also means I know that we live in a hookup world and I'm a relationship type of girl.

Stop being so vague!

This kind of ties into the first one but like if you want an actual date/relationship say that. If all you want is some action (I don't know why I used that word… oh well) say that! Just be honest and accept my response.

Be. Honest.

This all could have been one bullet… oops. But I digress... Guys, if you're listening let me say something. A woman would appreciate you being honest with her over trying to not hurt her feelings. Yes you losing interest will hurt me, yes you liking someone else will hurt me, yes it's gonna hurt but you know what hurts more? Being lied to. Being ignored and ghosted and left without an explanation as to what happened. Having to tell yourself over and over that him losing interest had nothing to do with you while in the back of your mind never believing it… So yeah… I'd rather you just be like I don't want you anymore because at least you communicated to me.

This is for Tinder Boys… Don't you at least want to know my last name?

Honestly, some guys only message you saying “dtf”? As in that is their entire message, three letters; d… t… f. Or asking if you'll do something. You don't know me from some random woman on the street and you're inviting me into your home and bed? That doesn't seem weird to you? I don't know maybe I'm just an old fashioned lady that needs to go knit but I'm not down with that.

Here’s what I would like to see happen… We need to go back to people asking people out on actual dates, being friends first, getting to know a person. I see some of my peers with relationships like this and I know that it is possible. It may be old fashioned but I think it works.


Today's food for thought:

Put down your phones and experience the now
Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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An Open Letter To My Boyfriend's Mom

A simple thank you is not enough.
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Your son and I have been dating a while now and I just wanted to thank you for everything.

Wow, where do I start? Ever since the day your son brought me into your home you have shown me nothing but kindness. I have not one negative thought about you and I am truly thankful for that. I first and foremost want to thank you for welcoming me with open arms. There are horror stories of mothers resenting their son's girlfriends and I am blessed there is no resentment or harsh feelings.

Thank you for treating me like one of your children, with so much love but knowing exactly when to tease me.

Thank you for sticking up for me when your son teases me, even though I know it’s all in good fun it's always comforting knowing you have someone by your side.

Thank you for raising a man who respects women and knows how to take responsibility of mistakes and not a boy who is immature and doesn’t take responsibility.

Thank you for always including me in family affairs, I may not be blood family but you do everything you can to make sure I feel like I am.

Thank you for letting me make memories with your family.

There is nothing I value more in this world then memories with friends and family and I am thankful you want and are willing to include me in yours. I have so much to thank you for my thoughts keep running together.

The most important thing I have to thank you for is for trusting me with your son. I know how precious and valuable he is and I won't break his heart. I will do everything I can to make him happy. This means more than you could ever imagine and I promise I will never break your trust.

The second most important thing I must thank you for is for accepting me for who I am. Never have you ever wished I looked like another girl or acted like another girl. You simply love and care for me and that’s all I could ever ask. Every person in this world is a unique different person and understanding that means a lot.

The third most important thing I must thank you is teaching me how to one day in the future treat a potential girlfriend that I may interact with as a mother. I am not a mother, but I one day plan to be. If I ever have a son it is because of how you treated me that I am able to be a humble loving mother to this new face that could one day walk into my door. How you have treated me has taught me how I should one day be in the future and I thank you for that.

This may seem all over the place but that’s how my brain gets when I try and thank you for everything you have done for me. It’s all so much and even the little things are so important so I promise my scattered thoughts are all with good intentions and not meant to bombard you. I just want to get the idea across to you that you are important and special to me and everything you do does not go unnoticed.

Sincerely,

Your Son’s Girlfriend

Cover Image Credit: Christian Images and Quotes

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It's Time For Romance Movies To Start Portraying Love And Relationships More Accurately

It's 2019, get with the times.

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Currently, on TV and in the movies, many romance movies have the same storyline. If it's on Hallmark, two people fall in love and complete some kind of mission. If it's in the movies two people date/fall in love, something causes them to break up, then they get back together and everyone lives happily ever after.

The problem is that all of these plots are seriously unrealistic.

All of these movies and TV shows just inaccurately portray how a relationship works in real life. A real relationship takes a lot of work, time, and effort. Not everything is candy canes, unicorns, and comes so easily. There are so many other factors that people have to think about.

I really got into watching these romantic type movies when I started watching PG-13 movies. I would watch them and picture all my relationships going this way. But these movies painted the wrong picture of relationships. I'm not saying my boyfriend is a bad boyfriend at all, he is wonderful! But we both have learned it takes a lot of work, time, effort, and communication. These are things very few romance movies teach us.

Also, everyone expects things from their significant others from what they see in these movies. I was one of those people, but then real life hit. There are bills, jobs, and time management that you have to consider. This doesn't mean that my boyfriend and I don't go out, but we have to choose wisely for what we do and when we do it! We have also found fun things to do at home in place of going out in order to save money.

I understand that many people like to watch these programs and enjoy them. But there needs to be a change to accurately portray a relationship. Personally, I think this is why many young people's relationships don't last - they have watched this easy relationship develop and stay in a movie and they haven't seen what it is like in real life.

So, to those who produce these types of movies and shows, it's time that you start making things more realistic.

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