My Parents Are Going Blind

My Parents Are Going Blind

How I came to terms with my parent’s inevitable disease.
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This is something that I do not really talk about with other people. In fact, it is something that I do not really think about when I am by myself. Why? Because it reminds me that my parents might not see me walk across the stage when I graduate in two years. It reminds me that my parents might be able to see me on my wedding day or see what their grandchildren will look like one day. It sounds depressing but this is slowly becoming my reality.

So what do you do when what has been known as the status quo is about to suddenly change? How do you adjust yourself and make yourself comfortable with your new reality?

It is not easy and I can tell you honestly that I am still in the process of understanding. However, what I can say is that this is something that you have to actively think about in order to come to terms with. If you are not actively thinking about the topic, then when the event occurs, you will be thrown completely off guard. Thus, just like with most things in life, you have to plan.

You have to plan how to be okay with this major change. For me personally, a huge part of my understanding stems from making sure that up until my parents can see, they get to see as much of life that they possibly can. Taking them to places that they have always wanted to visit and having them experience things that they always wanted to experience was really important. Besides that, just trying to live as happy as we can in these next, critical few years is my only goal and wish.

Apart from that, I think the one thing that I have learned from having to deal with my parents evitable fate is that sometimes things happen in life that you have absolutely no control over. And it sucks. But what everyone can do every day is not take life and the things that you have for granted. Live life to the fullest and be grateful every step along the way. You never know when those things will be taken from you. So just live, be happy and whatever else happens, leave that up to fate or God or whatever you believe in. Its all you can really do.

I do want to add that if coping with these types of difficult situations is more difficult to you than it has proven to be for me, then I definitely suggest talking to someone about what you are feeling. 😊

Cover Image Credit: Nidhi Singh

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My Mom And I Do NOT Have What Lorelai And Rory Had, And For That, I'm So Thankful

But where she leads, I will follow.

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There are very few people I know who dislike the Gilmore Girls TV show. We've all admired the quiet and idyllic town of Stars Hollow and the warm and cozy feel of Luke's Diner. We've all experienced the highs and lows of Rory growing up, and we've loved choosing whether we're team Dean, Jess or Logan. We've all appreciated Rory's literary references, Sookie's love for baking and Kirk and Taylors' quirky personalities. But one of the most entertaining aspects of the show has to the dynamics between Lorelai and her daughter, Rory.

For me, Lorelai and Rory's witty and comedic banter makes the show. I can't imagine being part of such a peppy, caffeine-and-takeout-food-loving duo that always knows the funny thing to say. Wherever these two go – whether it's the town hall meeting or Luke's Diner for the third time in a day – they manage to have a ball of a time because they have each other. And honestly, who wouldn't want that? Watching this TV show has led me to idealize their seemingly-flawless mother-daughter relationship, and to examine my own.

My mom and I are on completely different planes on cultural references, so our conversations don't include jokes about the latest actors and shows. We'd want to go home to take a nap if we were to walk endlessly arm-in-arm around our own hometown, and we would be out of a house and home if we spent as much time at our local dinner as Rory and Lorelai do. Not to mention that, if my Mom and I imitated the Gilmores in consuming copious amounts of food and coffee, we'd explode.

As much as I love the Gilmore bond, I'm still glad that I got the mom that I did. Unlike Lorelai and Rory's relationship, there is a clear mother-daughter divide between us, which I have learned to appreciate. My mom has been there to guide me through both amazing and challenging times and to give me wisdom that she's learned from years of experience. She's been present to give me encouragement about how to do life and how to make friends and how to deal with that one person who's really bugging you. And she acts like a moral authority and encourages me to always be the best me that I can be.

I'm not saying Lorelai doesn't do these things – in many ways, I see her being encouraging and uplifting and altogether-awesome, just like a mom should be. But I also know that she falls into the big sister role because of the smaller age gap between her and Rory, so she fills the shoes of motherhood in a different way.

Although we're not Gilmore girls, I am still thankful for the happy home life that I have. For one thing, I'm so fortunate to have a Dad who lives in our house. My mom and dad's marriage are strong and full of love and makes a house a home. And while I understand that Rory doesn't have a stay-at-home dad as a staple (Gilmore Guys just isn't as catchy), I definitely appreciate the perks of that in my own life. Similarly, it's also really, really nice that my mom gets along well with my grandparents! Sure, we don't have weekly Friday-night dinners with them, but I'm glad that every time we do get together, we don't have awkward dinner-time arguments at the table.

And yeah, even though we aren't Rory and Gilmore, my mom is still one of my best friends. We go mall shopping until either her back gives up or we need to pick up my little brother. We sing along in the car to ABBA music and we laugh about the latest drama in our church. We go on exciting outings, like free movie showings at the library and local teahouses. I try to be interested in her historical fiction dramas, and she tries not to be shocked by my comedy shows. We spill the tea together – even though she's still not 100% sure what 'tea' means. I'd love to be a Gilmore girl, but all the same, I'm glad my mom and I aren't. She's still the Lorelai to my Rory – if Lorelai were a cardigan-clad, nap-loving woman who sneaks vegetables into our dinners. And you don't need to be a Gilmore girl to have someone you can do the adventure called life alongside with.

All in all, I'd say we are more than blessed if we have someone we can follow, where they lead.

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