Dear ex-best friend,

Remember me? Remember how we were best friends? Remember how inseparable we were? Remember the countless nights we’ve had, sitting on the roof of your house, staring at stars, and talking about our crushes? Remember when we used to create long, complicated handshakes because we thought they were “cool”? Remember when we used to braid each other’s hair, paint each other’s nails, do each other’s makeup, and share clothes? Remember when we were the best of friends, and we thought it’d be that way forever?

Because I do.

You were my everything. You were my go-to, last minute dinner date. You were the one to pick up the phone at 3 in the morning when it felt like my world was falling apart. You were the first person I’d call when anything happened; the good, the bad, and the ugly.

We dreamt of moving into an apartment in the city together. We swore we’d go to college together. We vowed to each other that we’d stick together. We were there for each other.

You were always the one to have my back, but now you're the one to talk behind it. You were always a phone call away, but you no longer pick up. Endless hours of Facetiming and texting turned into one-word replies. Our laughter turned into my tears.

You and I spent days together at a time, and we never got tired of being together. We swore we were sisters. We’d talk about everyone who we hated and why. We’d gossip about everyone like there was no tomorrow. You hated how girls pretended to be dumb to look cute, and we’d make fun of them. You hated girls who didn’t defend their best friends.

But one day, all of this changed. It was like I didn’t even know you, like we were never even friends. Nights I’d spend holding onto you while I cried turned into nights I hold pillows and cry.

I don’t know if I feel sad about this anymore. I’ve learned a lot about friendships this way; I learned not to care too much. Together, you and I were unstoppable. We were role models for each other. We brought out the best in one another.

Then… it just stopped.

I was there for you to hold you when you cried. I bought you ice cream during your toughest breakups. I kept you grounded, but you used to do the same for me. But when I needed a shoulder to cry on or my rock to lean on, you were nowhere to be found. You declined my calls; you ignored my texts. Where’d my best friend go?

Our friendship was something that I genuinely cherished. I have learned a lot from you. You taught me to be myself without even caring what anyone thinks. You wouldn’t judge me when I cried, or when I laughed uncontrollably. I don’t remember why, let alone when, this all changed, but I’m somewhat happy it did. You just weren’t good for me anymore; our friendship was like a drug, and I needed to quit. I’m sorry, but we followed separate paths, and mine no longer includes you.

I can’t say that ever since our friendship ended, I don’t miss and love the old you. You became the person you swore you wouldn’t be. I don’t think I will ever fully understand the reason our friendship ended, considering you never gave me one; you just stopped trying; you disappeared. Through this, I have learned what friendships really are. Friendship isn’t about wearing cute matching outfits we bought from the mall; friendships are about building a relationship with someone who truly wants the best for you. I’m not wishing you the worst, but I’m also not wishing you the best.

Sincerely and with love,

Your ex-best friend.