I need closure, in every single form of it. To book series, to wishing your best friend off before they leave for a big trip/move, or even saying good bye to that new dude you just met at that party. It’s all very important to me.

I started noticing this about 5 years ago when my family and some friends of ours were spending the day around Seattle Center and the Pacific Science Center. Once it was time for us to part ways, there wasn’t really a good bye; it was more just like they walked off. It bugged the crap out of me. It felt like our fun afternoon was unfinished. It was in that moment that I knew clear closure is something that mattered to me. Even when I’m at a holiday party with people I see only once a year, or meet some new people, I have to say good bye; “Goodnight, it was a pleasure to meet you!” or "It was good to see you!". It’s closure for me and it’s polite. If someone leaves a party or a big-ish friendly gathering without saying bye or that they are leaving, I consider it kind of rude.

Without closure, the chapter is left unfinished; the door is left open, it doesn’t feel proper to me; it doesn’t feel ended or concluded. That’s the best way I can describe this.

When it comes to stories, books and movies and such, it can actually give me anxiety, especially if I am really, deeply invested. I recently finished re-watching The Hobbit trilogy and I had at least 10 questions that were not answered. It bugged me for two entire days to a point where I was about to write my own god damn fan fiction add-on. Of course I can probably find some extended, fan-written part of the story line, but I tend to forget about that.

If a TV series is suddenly canceled after a season with unfinished or open story lines, I hate it. Can’t stand it. If the end of a series answers enough of my questions with a movie (thanks Firefly/Serenity!) or a pro-log, then I’m fine, I’ll take it, it’s better than nothing. But God almighty do I hate loose ends and cliff hangers.

If a friend leaves for a big trip or moves somewhere away from me (university, anyone?) , I have to say goodbye and/or wish them off. It sounds like a selfish thing, like I need to see them one last time, but for some reason it feels like more than that. It’s just something I need to do. An omen? Maybe. Shit feels incomplete if I don’t wish them off/say goodbye .

I am lucky enough to not have experienced the deaths of loved ones in my life yet, but when it does eventually happen, I have a feeling that I need to do something that helps with the closure. Wishing them into the afterlife or whatever.

Is this normal, or is this just me? I feel like it bugs others not as nearly as much.