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To The Dad Who Didn't Want Me, It's Mutual Now

Thank you for leaving me because I am happy.
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Thank you, for leaving me.

Thank you, for leaving me when I was little.

Thank you, for not putting me through the pain of watching you leave.

Thank you, for leaving me with the best mother a daughter could ask for.

I no longer resent you. I no longer feel anger towards you. I wondered for so long who I was. I thought that because I didn't know half of my blood that I was somehow missing something. I thought that who you were defined me. I was wrong. I am my own person. I am strong and capable and you have nothing to do with that. So thank you for leaving me.

In my most vulnerable of times, I struggled with the fact that you didn't want me. You could have watched me grow into the person that I have become, but you didn't. You had a choice to be in my life. I thought that the fact that my own father didn't want me spoke to my own worth. I was wrong. I am so worthy. I am deserving, and you have nothing to do with that. So thank you for leaving me.

You have missed so much. From my first dance to my first day of college, and you'll continue to miss everything. You won't see me graduate, you won't walk me down the aisle, and you won't get to see me follow my dreams. You'll never get that back, but I don't care anymore. What I have been through, and the struggles that I have faced have brought me to where I am today, and I can't complain. I go to a beautiful school, I have the best of friends, I have an amazing family, and that's all I really need.

Whoever you are, I hope you read this. I hope you understand that you have missed out on one of the best opportunities in your life. I could've been your daughter. I could have been your little girl. Now I am neither, nor will I ever be.

So thank you for leaving me because I am happy. I understand my self-worth, and I understand that you don't define me. You have made me stronger. You have helped make me who I am without even knowing it.

So, thank you for leaving me.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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Dear Mom, You Will Have My Entire Heart For As Long As I Live

To know her is to love her.

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Mother's Day was this previous Sunday, May 12th, and this is my first publication as an Odyssey member. As part of my Mother's Day gift, though it is a little late, I wanted my first article to be dedicated to the woman who has devoted her whole life to me since day one.

This one is for you, mother. I'll try to keep it short and sweet.

I can't imagine what a rollercoaster my existence has been for you. I have been through every typical phase in the book. The young and sweet phase, the one full of rebellion and teenage angst, the "I'm too cool to associate with my family" phase, all the way to the current chapter of my life: eighteen and utterly confused. I know I have the capability to throw everyone for a loop and you have definitely gotten the best and worst of it all, each moment as dramatic as the next.

From being too little to understand no means no which then led to me dropping an ostrich egg at a petting zoo, all the way to me, still not quite understanding the 'no' concept and downloading Snapchat behind your back to talk to my 7th-grade boyfriend, you are a real trooper. I admire your strength & unconditional love, not just towards me, but towards everyone that enters your life. You are the epitome of kindness and truth. You are the beautiful, strong, independent woman I will always aspire to be even though I will never be anything close.

At one point I would have said I couldn't wait for the day I got to leave home and be out on my own. Now, I can barely imagine being 20 minutes down the road, let alone 8 hours away. What will I do without having you to annoy when I'm avoiding tasks I need to get done or to gossip with when it's too risky to tell anyone else? You are my day one, my best friend, & my biggest supporter. You are my mom, and I could not have been blessed with a greater one.

To the woman who just wanted to share Panda Express and Dairy Queen on Mother's Day, thank you for everything you do. You are so special. You have had and will have my entire heart from my first breath to my last.

I love you.

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