My Mommom Taught Me Endless Lessons

My Mommom Taught Me What It Means To Love

My mommom was always there to inspire me and make me smile, and coping with her death has been an ordeal.

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We would have been celebrating my mommom's 91st birthday this past Monday, on July 16. Unfortunately, she passed away in 2017 and ever since that fateful day, I have felt a kind of emptiness inside of me. There will always be something missing from my life now.

Growing up, Mommom was a staple in my day to day life. My mother has always been close to her, so she tried to keep her in mine and my brother's life as much as possible. Whether it be going on shopping trips, having her over for dinner, or visiting daily to play with her dog and watch General Hospital, she was always there.

More often than not, I would sit next to her on the couch and spill the latest hardships in my childhood life, which soon turned into middle school, and then high school. She was always there to listen and cheer me up, seemingly without even trying. Just seeing her would put a smile on my face. She was the person that created my whole family, the reason I have such a wonderful bond with my relatives. She brought us all together on holidays and for birthdays and made sure we stayed connected.

How different my life is now that she's gone. It feels weird, not being able to call her to tell her I got into college, to tell her that I finally decided what I wanted to do with my life, that I'm actually in a healthy, stable relationship. She wasn't at my graduation or my 18th birthday, nor will she be there for my 21st, my college graduation, or when I have children. She met my baby cousin but now that she's gone, he won't remember her. That's something that has been extremely hard to deal with.

Sometimes I sit and think about how hard it is to grasp the fact that someone was there, someone who shined such a bright light on my life, and now she isn't anymore. She taught me so much; what it means to love unconditionally, how being positive can impact a person, how to be a good listener.

My mother told me that in 1999, Mommom was sick and ready to let go of her life. However, my mom told her she was pregnant with me, and right then and there, she decided that it wasn't time to go. She was determined to be around for part of my life and she stayed for 17 more years. Hearing that from my mother I knew. I knew she fought to be here for me, then my brother, and all her great-grandchildren after us. She was meant to be here for me, to teach and support me as I grew up. It would be selfish to try to keep her around after she knew she was ready to go.

My mommom was on this planet for 89 years and she impacted so many lives, created a beautiful family, and was a beautiful soul. It is comforting to know that she is finally resting and reunited with her husband, her parents, and her siblings. I know she is looking down on me, wherever she is, and I know she is proud of what she sees.

If you have lost a close relative or friend, I hope you can find solace in my story. I hope you can reflect back on the time you had with them and see the beauty in it. I also hope you find comfort in their watchful eyes looking over you, even if you can't see or feel them. They are there and they love you.

Cover Image Credit:

Amanda Donahue

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A Letter To The Grandpas Who Left Far Too Soon

The thoughts of a girl who lost both of her grandpas too early.
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Dear Grandpa,

As I get older, my memories are starting to fade. I try to cling to every last bit of memory that I have of you. There are certain memories that have stuck well in my brain, and I probably will never forget them, at least I hope I don't. I remember your smile and your laugh. I can still remember how your voice sounded. I never want to forget that. I catch myself closing my eyes to try to remember it, playing your voice over and over in my head so that I can ingrain it in my memory.

I always thought you were invincible, incapable of leaving me. You were so young, and it caught us all by surprise. You were supposed to grow old, die of old age. You were not supposed to be taken away so soon. You were supposed to see me graduate high school and college, get married to the love my life, be there when my kids are born, and never ever leave.

My heart was broken when I heard the news. I don't think I had experienced a pain to that level in my entire life. At first, I was in denial, numb to the thought that you were gone. It wasn't until Thanksgiving, then Christmas, that I realized you weren't coming back. Holidays are not the same anymore. In fact, I almost dread them. They don't have that happy cheer in the air like they did when you were alive. There is a sadness that hangs in the air because we are all thinking silently how we wished you were there. I hope when I am older and have kids that some of that holiday spirit comes back.

You know what broke my heart the most though? It was seeing your child, my parent, cry uncontrollably. I watched them lose their dad, and I saw the pain that it caused. It scared me, Grandpa, because I don't ever want to lose them like how they lost you. I can't imagine a day without my mom or dad. I still see the pain that it causes and how it doesn't go away. There are good days and there are bad days. I always get upset when I see how close people are to their grandparents and that they get to see them all the time. I hope they realize how lucky they are and that they never take it for granted. I wish I could have seen you more so that I could have more memories to remember you by.

I know though that you are watching over me. That is where I find comfort in the loss. I know that one day I will get to see you again, and I can't wait for it. I hope I have made you proud. I hope that all that I have accomplished and will accomplish makes you smile from ear to ear. I hope that the person I marry is someone you would approve of. And I hope that my kids get more time with their grandpa than I did because the amount I got wasn't fair.

I want to say thank you for raising your child to be the best parent ever because they will one day be the best grandparent ever. Just like you.

Cover Image Credit: Katelyn McKinney

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9 Reasons Your Grandparents Are The Best Gifts You'll Ever Receive

They love us unconditionally and are always there to lend a helping hand.

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Grandparents are special. They are the leaders and foundations of our families. They love us unconditionally and are always there to lend a helping hand. The spoil us way too often! My grandparents mean the world to me. The picture above is one of my favorite photos with both my mother and my grandfather when I was a little girl. They are some of the best people in my life and have always set a good example for me. Cherish them while you can because they won't always be around! Here are nine reasons your grandparents are the best gifts you'll ever receive!

1. They give the best advice.

2. They have a lot of life experience and are willing to share it with you.

3. Their smile makes your heart warm.

4. They are so intelligent.

5. They have the best stories to share.

6. They are a great example of love.

7. Their hugs are like no other.

8. They spoil their grandchildren.

9. They love you unconditionally.

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