A Modest Proposal

For alleviating the world of all major issues whilst protecting, preserving and preparing the youths of today to live in the world of tomorrow.

by Kelly Roth

2026

All societal issues today can be traced back to one designated group of people—youths. By eliminating this sect altogether, the world’s productivity, efficiency and focus will drastically and immediately increase, whilst the annoyances of crime, distraction, disappointment and irresponsibility will not only decrease, but cease to hinder our countries entirely.

Juvenile issues litter all nations in all parts of the world, despite its particular economy, cultural customs or political backgrounds. There is only one link between all problematic areas— the cause of all major issues. Youths.

Infant annoyances, devious tots, meddling children and reckless adolescents clutter the Earth. Infants waste resources and distract-able adults from contributing to society. Toddlers and children of all ages require almost constant attention and upkeep and drain time, energy and the existing workforce. Not only does the maintenance of sustaining these encumbrances create an unnecessary drain on governmental programs and viable citizens, but youths also contribute no advancement to our already-regressing society.

With the absence of such distractions and burdens, many worldwide ethical controversies will be resolved. Youths will no longer be subject to work under conditions or be sold into unsafe circumstances.

The solution has always been quite obvious and simple, but only recently have scientists collected consistent and stable data results and developed the equipment required to carry out the solution further explained in this proposal. The amount or availability of youths to experiment with was no obstacle, but the money required to purchase test subjects had not yet been collected. With only a few dozen fundraisers and after the solution was made widely known, contributors immediately stepped forward, donated (with either financial contributions or eligible subjects,) and joined the solution.

Once testing was complete with consistent, compatible results and all unsuccessful and impaired subjects were disposed of (through following governmental health codes and procedures, of course), the Our Future Warehouses were carefully designed and built. The funds came from the surplus of generous donations from our devoted supporters and anonymous donors.

Our Future Warehouses protect, preserve and prepare our future generations with efficiency and vigilant attention to detail until the tenants can adequately care for themselves.

While the scientific explanation for the preservation process it quite complex, the concept is relatively simple. Residents will be preserved in temperature-regulated and constantly monitored incubators measured evenly apart on sterile countertops throughout the multi-layered warehouses. The incubators will be carefully stored and constantly monitored in Our Future Warehouses dispersed across the globe.

Per level, there will be a maximum of 15 filled incubators and a minimum of one, depending on the significance of the occupants. For example, a leader’s young would be kept under the heaviest security. Yet, the original providers’ recommendations for their youth’s protection and monitoring is always taken into consideration. For each floor, there will be a set number of 10 guards per room. A twice-hourly rotation of thoroughly interviewed guards (all at least having a Ph.D.) will be on staff 24 hours a day, seven days a week and 365 days a year to ensure the fullest security, safety and efficiency.

Heart rate, blood pressure and oxygen levels will constantly be monitored and logged automatically into each tenant’s file. Feeding tubes and IVs used to transport nutrition, essential to sustain each distinct occupant, will be directly implanted to ensure a most efficient and effective success. Individual dietary restrictions and preferences will be translated into the system, taken into account and applied in each system update, which will occur nightly.

A rotation of one emergency dentist, two doctors and four nurses will constantly be stationed on each floor, each with two on-call replacements always on standby.

Low-paid educators, which will, fortunately, become obsolete having submitted their last contribution to the youths of society, will finally be able to acquire a high-paying and more reputable and honorable position. Educators all across the board have collaborated, compromised and condensed all rudimentary education deemed necessary for establishing a successful future in all respectable professions into a microchip weighing approximately 1.6 milligrams. Further collegiate studies may be pursued depending on what profession the individual chooses.

Once the occupants reach full maturity, the tubes will be taken out, the education chip implanted, the doors unlocked, and the occupant released, ready to begin their life. In the rare case that an occupant is released but has not yet reached full maturity, the individual is located and brought back to be placed under extensive monitoring until the data logged on incubator charts proves the youth is complete.

Tenants will be provided with a small but sufficient sum to begin their lives on their own.

Our Future Warehouses products are estimated to have an 83.64 percent increased productivity, creating the most progressive and efficient society in history. During the months of extensive testing, death rates have never been lower in infants, and crime rates have never been lesser in areas where all youths were removed.

Of course, it is obvious youths are not the only ones causing problems; adults who were traumatized by their childhood, raised improperly or never reached full mental maturity contribute to the chaos of our world today. By eliminating the scarring embarrassments, potential regrets and overinflated expectations formed before maturity, adults are freed from lingering juvenile dreams, unrealistic fairytales and childish antics and tendencies that frequently cloud their genuine ambitions of a successful career and a productive lifestyle. Adults who do not have hindering distractions of childish first loves or unreasonable aspirations are ready for a serious, lasting marriage without the tedious and wasteful ritual of dating. Mid-life crises will cease being a crisis because no lingering childish dreams will be left unfulfilled. They will become a random blemish of the past forgotten in two or three generations. The mistakes of history will be forgotten, so they will not be repeated.

The roles of “Mother” and “Father” in the household are no longer necessary positions. The mere producers of children may recuperate for a few days after the deliverance of an infant and then may return to the comfortable structure and monotonous security of their productive, efficient lives. Producers of Our Future Warehouses’ residents are alleviated from the prior stress, worry and the demanding time commitment of serving and tending to youths for nearly two decades. That time is better spent preparing a more progressive world for those youths to later manage, govern, and further progress themselves.

At Our Future Warehouses, we let nature take control; we let time raise our children. There is no danger of abusive or repressive environments to corrupt the minds of our innocent future generations. A much more peaceful society is expected, full of mild-mannered adults with fresh beginning and youths safely in their casings.

The creators and contributors of Our Future Warehouses have surveyed a diverse range of the public, and 99.67% of participants have responded with great excitement and positive predictions. Our survey collectors suspect the consequential remaining .33 percent who allegedly responded negatively was due to a glitch in the system or accidental human error.

Under the control of Our Future Warehouse Co., 2027 is predicted to be the most efficient, productive, and most anxiously awaited era in history.

To contribute to the betterment of Our Future, visit http://OurFutureWarehouse.org, and thank you for helping up get one youth closer to our awaiting utopia.